地道日常英语,精彩情景呈现

yping88

Here it is, @newozer
朋友的恭维就像香水------再名贵也只能闻闻

newozer

yping88 发表于 14-7-2013 13:08

                               
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Thanks, @newozer for your compliments!
But I'll try to keep cool and not get these all into my h ...

所以俺很低调。。。俺要让 全世界 都知道。。。俺很低调。。。

yping88

newozer 发表于 14-7-2013 13:14

                               
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所以俺很低调。。。俺要让 全世界 都知道。。。俺很低调。。。

We all know that you got the reputation for keeping a low key!
But, FreeOz-wide only, so, you still have a long way to go to get this message across to the whole world!

Heehee

yping88

G'day, you all! How's the weekend?

After a long walk, my Harvey was tucked out (精疲力尽), which buys me some time to reorganize my thoughts that were provoked by reading the post put up there by @KYLIE2008  

The link is as following: http://www.freeoz.org:8126/ibbs/thread-1024579-1-1.html

yping88

Some points made in @KYLIE2008  's post clicks the very right spots in my mentality (引起共鸣) when it comes to parents responsibility for their children's education.

Kylie is right that as immigrants, we don't enjoy the edge (优势) as locals do as far as opportunities as concerned (谈及机会). Growing up outside of this country, we, as the first generation, missed out on numerous chances to realize what we have dreamed of achieving.

However, our children are granted the same odds as the locals to accomplish whatever their potentials allow them to. So, why we wouldn't push them forward a bit, guide them to the right direction where their talents would take them to, and live the better life they deserve?  

However, young children and teenagers are not old enough to figure out what their future is gonna be and where their best interest resides in.

Therefore, as parents, we have, by all means, the obligation to nurture them, guide them, discipline them and push them. No matter who they turn out to be and what career they follow later on, we will never be left in the wonder about the role we played in their upbringing: what if we do or what if we don't.

I am aware that some western parents share the very different views on how children's education should be dealt with. Some of them always say "Children should be allowed to do whatever to make themselves happy". "Life is too short, so they should be granted a chance to live it to the fullest!"

Therefore, they would frown upon (反对/不赞成/皱眉) how we Asians go all out (竭尽全力) to push our kids to a point where they get exhausted and show their rebellion against the disciplines imposed on them.

I should say they made their points in here, but lost the track on the regime: Allowing children to do whatever they want.

yping88

I remembered when I worked in the other hospital, most of my colleagues either have grownups or teenage children. None of them ever talked about either their children education or what fields those children work in. One gentleman, however, enjoyed talking about how brilliant his son would be in the business.

One day, he initiated his "brilliantly business-orientated son" again and said: Peter is so smart and headstrong about starting his business that I bet his would make a fortune out of his business he has started now (BTW, peter was 12 year-old then).

One of my colleagues was very carious about what a 12-year-old could make a fortune out of, she asked: What business did Peter start?
The gentleman's face totally lighted up and showed his genuine pride in his son (I believed in his genuineness): He found part-time job distributing newspapers and flyers!

A year12 student got 60% in UMAT (Medicine entrance exam), his mother told him he had done his parents proud, because he was motivated to put himself out there to get his potential tested.

Another year12 girl achieved 70% in ATAR and spread out her father's words among her peers: I am so proud of you, my little girl. You are the daughter of the year!  

yping88

I put the above examples there not for us to laugh at, but for us to reflect on what we should learn from the western parents on how the children's efforts should be acknowledged and encouraged.

The way I see it is, as long as our children are up for it (能够做), we do need to push them, to provide the best support we can possibly afford, to assist the children to become the best they can be (在他们的能力范围内成为他们可能达到的最好的)!

What they can get at is nothing important, what is wonderful is the process in which they put their limits on test. From this process, they take on board their resilience, their motivation to achieve something, their flexibility to adjust to the harsh competitions. No matter they got it or not, they will come out stronger than those who didn’t try.

In the end of day (最终), we can proudly tell ourselves: We just did whatever we could, but we couldn’t decide what’s beyond our control. If we got it, we are specially blessed, if not, maybe that’s what it meant to be 得之，我幸. 不得，我命。

In this case, we would have no reason at all to bash ourselves up with the questions: What if I did 我如果 push 他了会怎样呢? Because we did, we had nothing to regret for!

yping88

My daughter finished her year 9 when she first came to Australia, so, that saved us so much trouble lecturing her on how hard she had to try to become exceptional, because she had been involved in all those tough challenges back in china to win the better chance among her peers.

During her senior high school education, she did get astray (迷惘) sometimes when she witnessed how her local peers enjoyed their school life. Good thing was there was an open-end communication line between us for her to bring up whatever could knock her off (引她偏离) the expected track. Thank God, after all those struggling, she could turn around heading back to where she initially targeted.

Sometimes, she did feel unfair for her to work many times harder than her peers to head for what we call "the right track".
But I told her: We brought her here not because she could fight less harder to make a decent living, but because she could be blessed with the equal opportunity to do whatever she wanted to with the same efforts as others.

God bless us with a happy ending! And she got what exactly she had been working hard for, and more and more, she felt so specially blessed that she didn't go against the instructions and guidance we gave to her. And she has even grateful for the strict disciplines we imposed on her education!

But, having herself missed out on so much fun that her peers had, she is by no means a geek or socially awkward.

All through her high school years, she stuck with her part-time job in retails, continued her commitment to St John's ambulance service as a volunteer, attended the fun parties with her friends, had sleep-overs both in friends' house and ours and went to Easter camping and so on. These weren't as many as her peers did, but enough for us Chinese parents could tolerate.

yping88

I didn't spend this much time to brag about how excellent the parents we are, I just would like to reinforce how children need to be pushed, disciplined and guided when they showed their motivation and goal, but were too young to sort out how to go about it.

So when children are ready, parents' pushing and proactive (主动的/积极的) participating in their education can play a crucial part in their grow-up and future.

But, don't worry about the possibility that your children could turn out to be a nerd or socially awkward person if they missed out on all the fun their peers have had. The schools have their special programs to make sure student's social functions: Term balls, school sports, school meet-ups, friends' birthday parties, special group camps, muck-up days and so forth.

I believe they will end up being whoever they meant to be, working hard and missing out some fun won't change anything in their social and interpersonal skills. Instead, believing they can put themselves up for any limit-testing tasks will enhance their confidence in their capabilities and incoming life adventures.

yping88

Sometimes, people are often heard saying: Don't push your children so hard, what they meant to be will be!

I admit there is a point (这说得有道理) here, but the bottom line is we have to recognize in their childhood what they meant to be. That's one of our accountabilities among many others as parents, and we have to do our best to honor our accountability (承担起这种责任) in our children's upbringing.

Regarding how hard is "too hard", we can tell from our children's compliance to the disciplines. If we pushed them to the extreme, we would be confronted by (直面) their strong resistance. Then, we got drop what we have been doing and accept what our children are meant to be.

No any other people can appreciate our children's strength and weakness more than we parents do. So, do whatever we possibly can to assist our children to become the best they can possible be!

Let's call it a mission and dedication as parents!

jerrycl

好贴。 让大伙儿了解.....

MICHELLE07

@yping88  和 @KYLIE2008   在教育子女上都很有心得, 是我学习的榜样.

我好像还是个糊涂妈妈.

是不是因为我的名字里只有7, 没有8?  

我开始动心狗狗的事了,孩子总是要求.

宠物能弥补心里的缺吗, yping 有什么想分享的没有?

yping88

MICHELLE07 发表于 16-7-2013 18:43

                               
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@yping88  和 @KYLIE2008   在教育子女上都很有心得, 是我学习的榜样.

我好像还是个糊涂妈妈.

Michelle, I'm sure when the time comes to your son's education, you will do a fantastic job in your role as a proactive guider. I have the faith in you and I mean it!

yping88

MICHELLE07 发表于 16-7-2013 18:43

                               
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@yping88  和 @KYLIE2008   在教育子女上都很有心得, 是我学习的榜样.

我好像还是个糊涂妈妈.

As long as you pull the trigger on the pet, I am afraid you will get your ears full (我会没完没了地说) with my story.

I'll head for that post and see what other people have to share with us!

yping88

@zelovehit          + 50        很给力!

Hey, @zelovehit  welcome on board! I can tell from your profile that you have done very well in IELTS, congratulations on that!

Both @MICHELLE07 and I are very passionate about getting this column on rolling, a lot of friends have been showing their constant support along the way as well.

Here, please forgive me for not singling out anyone in particular to express my appreciation, because all of you have been equally amazing and been there for one another all the way through!. That's exactly why this column has gone this far and will by all means keep going.

So, pleas feel free to share anything you'd like to. We are all ears to your stories and experiences!

yping88

Running around like a blue arse fly  忙得团团转

Behind the black stump 不知道。。。在那儿

Too many of a bosses, too few of an indians  谁都想说了算，没人愿被别人指挥

jerrycl

好贴...

BlackUmatta

MICHELLE07 发表于 16-7-2013 18:43

                               
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@yping88  和 @KYLIE2008   在教育子女上都很有心得, 是我学习的榜样.

我好像还是个糊涂妈妈.

你们都很优秀！！！

zhwer

这个帖子不错

yping88

There is an element in what she said 她所说的有些道理

The last thing we need to do right now is jazz her up 我们现在最不需要做的就是进一步激惹她

yping88

Hey all, sorry I have been off the ball (心不在焉的) recently, during the days of my absence, I have been an onlooker to a few heat-up topics in 生活百科，and of course I squeezed myself in some discussions and shared a few piece of my mind (分享了我的一些想法) as well.

I found it quite amusing, informative, but sometimes the debate on asylum-seekers was quite confronting and uncomfortable.

But, anyway, it feels nice to hear what other people have to say on the same issue, it's how we can balance out our own opinions and make necessary adjustment.

Hopefully, this special forum can help us become a better person we should be!

Bluemount

好贴，向各位学习

yping88

Over the last few days, I had the privilege to provide the nursing care to an aboriginal gentleman, who was well-mannered and outspoken. I sorely witnessed how a tribal culture can interfere with someone's mentality, judgement and decision, and I was granted a precious opportunity to communicate with someone that's from a culture I have never had experience in or even known much about.

Special thanks to this gentleman for being honest, being inclusive when we sat down and talked. I understand it's not usual for this special group to open up to some outsiders about their cultural issues.

yping88

When I first admitted him to the ward from regional hospital, he was quite outspoken about his lifestyle (Unhealthy) and family issues that keep bothering him. After he told me he got 10 children (He is only a little over mid-50s), I couldn't hold it exclaiming (不由自主地大叫) immediately: What? 10?

When I found my composure back (镇静下来), I just pretended to carry on a casual conversation: Oh, a big family then. How old are they?

"15-35" he replied.

"What are they?" I kept on asking.

He started with the oldest one: "The oldest is a boy, then a girl....the youngest is a boy"

I was teasing him: Oh, this took a while, it's amazing you didn't lose the count.

yping88

The second day when I was allocated to his care, he was diagnosed with severe heart disease, which can only be treated with bypass surgery. Apparently he consented to go ahead with it after the doctors informed him of the benefits of the surgery and risks he would have to take.  

When we talked, he presented with so much concerns about what his extended family was gonna react to his expecting surgery. But I was too busy at that time to find out more behind his behaviours, I just simply thought he was worried about the surgery itself, and didn't think of much else.

So, I gave him some pills to calm him down and ensured him a good-night sleep.

yping88

The third day we booked in the social service for him to sort out the transport for the extended family to come over from the regional area for the day visit on the fourth day.

On the fourth day, when I was with him again, he was out of it. All through our handover, he was pacing around his room asking if he could pack up and leave the hospital at his own risk (自负其责). The other nurse was very much in a rush due to another critical patient of hers, so she simply ran by him the hospital policy and informed him that he was a voluntary (自愿的) patient, if he insisted on discharging himself, nobody could hold him in the hospital against his will (违背他的意志) as long as he signs the form.

After the other nurse left, I sat down in his room and stated: Hey, John, look at your unhappy face, it's not whom I know. You seemed to be bothered very much by something serious, what was that all about?  

Then, he sat down with his face buried in his hands: My family was here today, they were pissed off by what I decided on my coming operation. I knew they would bitch about it, and they did. All the time they were here, they did nothing but bitched about it.

For a moment, I suddenly realized the culture difference between aboriginal people and the rest of us: John, was that the culture they were concerned about?

John: As far as I see, the culture difference means nothing to me in the free world. This is my life, nobody else can live it for me. I got all my children who means the world to me, it's too early for me to say goodbye to them.

I said nothing but put my hand on his shoulder, indicating to him that I was listening to him.

John continued: There was no sympathy, no encouragement, no support from any one of them. All they did was just bitching about how bad my decision was.

I stated: John, you are a mentally competent person who can make a sound decision on their own medical treatment. You should believe in yourself on your own perception and judgement.

John: Yeah, I am sure I made rational decision on my own treatment. This is life-and-death decision, for god's sake. My son, nephew and younger sister all died under my watch, I wouldn't let that happen to me if something could be done about it.

Me: Sounds very reasonable to me!

John: All the way through my childhood to adult, nobody was ever around to help me grow up, I was all on my own to figure it out how to turn out to be who I am today. Now, in the crucial time in my life, they all showed up to judge me, to direct me.

Me: Yeah, John. I can tell that you did a good job growing up. You appear to be a very well-mannered, very well-spoken gentleman to me.

John: I appreciate the recognition, mate. I told my extended family when they left the ward: If they would like to show up during my operation and recovery, please show their support. If not, don't even bother to make their presence, I will do it all on my own.

Me: Sorry, John. I should have realized there is a special social service named aboriginal affair, would you like to talk to them? Maybe, with someone knowing exactly what the culture is about, problems could be sorted out in a better way.

John: Maybe I need to talk to them regarding my medial power of attorney, just in case some complications happen to me, during which someone is needed to make sound decisions on my behalf.

Me: Sure, I will see to get that done (负责把这件事儿做好).

John: Thanks, mate. You are a good listener!

yping88

Now, my guessing is that it's not acceptable in aboriginal culture for people to be operated on their heart. Anybody can shed light on this matter?

John was apparently reluctant to tell me what exactly his senior family said about his surgery, from this, I could also tell how much his belief system was stuffed up by the culture he grew up in.

yping88

Now I realize why John was unwilling to go into the details on his senior family's row regarding his coming surgery. Does the word "jinx" ring the very bell to you guys?

I guess he was well aware how his culture goes against the modern technology, and he got stuck in between. On the other hand,  he was pretty clear that what unworthy risk he is gonna take if sticking to his tribal regime and letting his culture take the course.

That's why he stressed out again and again that he is gonna take over the control on his life-and-death decision and make his own destiny.

However, deep inside, he was still hanging onto his belief system. And he desperately need the approval from his senior family.

I wish he could find a way out with the help from the staff in Aboriginal Affairs.

God bless him! His real name is in my mind when I pray for him!

周星星1832

yping88 发表于 24-7-2013 10:10

                               
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Now I realize why John was unwilling to go into the details on his senior family's row regarding his ...

thanks for your story, I just read all of them about John.

周星星1832

yping88 发表于 24-7-2013 10:10

                               
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Now I realize why John was unwilling to go into the details on his senior family's row regarding his ...

don't know what I should say.
It's really upset you couldn't control your own life.
but that's life, right?
you live on it, but couldn't control it.
sadly.