地道日常英语,精彩情景呈现

MICHELLE07

yping88 发表于 30-4-2014 10:33

                               
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Sorry, I have been off the ball for quite a while, now, I forgot where we had left off! How have y ...

好久不来了。。。恍若隔世啊
亲爱的你还好吗

yping88

Now, I would like to share with you all a few jokes about the Abbot-government proposed retirement age---70 years old.

Dear manager,

I would like to submit a resign letter on my grandfather's behalf. Reason for his resignation is RIP, I guess he would be so relieved to be able to enjoy himself on a pension paid by his afterlife government up there.


A courtesy notice on the entrance to the company:

To comply to policies imposed upon us by Occupational health & safety, nobody is allowed to leave their walking sticks or walking frames just outside the main entrance. Offenders will be subjected to $150 as in parking infringement!

Your cooperation will be very much appreciated!

yping88

More jokes about 70-year-old retirement proposal:

Two gentlemen in their late 60s are exercise buddies. After failing to turn up for his routine morning sessions, his buddy tweeted him: Hey, bro, you kept being absent from our morning exercises, I was wondering how you were!

He tweeted back shortly: I have been swamped with the endless business trips, but I am hanging in there!


In the future, the 70-year-olds will hang onto their jobs, instead, the young ones will be left either hunting for jobs with no vacancies or have to kill their time in pubs. Here will be the daily
conversation between the grandmother and grandson:

Grandma: Hey, grandson, before you head out to the pub today, can you please escort grandpa to his company? It's so damn hard for him to carry his walking frame on and off the train nowadays!  

yping88

MICHELLE07 发表于 30-4-2014 10:46

                               
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好久不来了。。。恍若隔世啊
亲爱的你还好吗

I have been busy for a long time to help a friend's family who have recently come to Melbourne. My mind has been hardly cleared off from their settlement. But I have been happy!

What is new with you? Hope all is well with you all!

大米粥

yping88 发表于 30-4-2014 10:33

                               
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Sorry, I have been off the ball for quite a while, now, I forgot where we had left off! How have y ...

lol..its ok, let's take a break, been busy as a bee...slowly getting better though

yping88

Me: I have been feeling so depressed recently with all the sad news flying around, one after another.

Peter: Maybe you need to stop watching the news program then. I did and I find myself in a happy place now.

A few days later, I saw Peter again early in the morning.

Peter: Good morning, Ping, how are you doing?

Me: I am well, no TV, no news, happy and contented.  How have you been?

Peter: I had been happy until this morning. I made a huge mistake accidentally tuning the radio to the news on my way over. I overheard that Victoria government will invest $24 billion in infrastructure projects such as road and rail network. Now, I am agitated and extremely worried where Victoria can find those money!  

yping88

Under promised, over delivered  别乱承诺, 但要尽力而为!

yping88

Can anybody explain this picture? A hint: The bird in the pic are crows!

yping88

yping88 发表于 20-5-2014 20:42

                               
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Can anybody explain this picture? A hint: The bird in the pic are crows!

Nobody interested? It's a boring joke, but it's mind blowing! I really need you guys to read through this!

A group of crows (Three of them or more) is called A MURDER OF CROW, two crows are nearly three, closer to A MURDER OF CROW, but not quite there yet. So, two crows on the beam is called ATTEMPTED MURDER.

I would never be able to crack this joke if I hadn't had this explained to me in detail!

yping88

Ruffle somebody's feathers  激惹（怒）某人

yping88

What is the difference between knowledge and wisdom?

Knowledge is like a tomato, which people regard it as fruit. Wisdom is something that people should have to make themselves wise enough not to put tomato in to make the fruit salad.

Therefore, knowledgeable people can only be regarded as wise ones when they know how to present their knowledge!

yping88

A real kick in the teeth  严重的打击

Someone has been taken under the wing  被保护在羽翅之下

yping88

Peter--A 70 year-old gentleman: I have a question for you regarding future care after the Pace-Maker insertion? (PPM is inserted via a subclavicular vein into the right ventricle, the generator itself is a device as small as a hearing-aid box, which is hidden under the skin just on the right or left upper chest. )

Me: Yeah, I'm quite happy to answer it!

Peter: What is gonna happen if someone hits on the insertion site? How heavy a blow it can bear?

Me (Put on a big shocking look): Wow, Why? Are you a street fighter or something?

yping88

A gentleman was experiencing the alcohol withdrawal syndrome, which means inappropriate behaviours, verbally abusive remarks to others and self-harming tendencies. At that day, he wandered out of the room without realizing that he was still attached to IV therapy. He accidentally pulled out his IV cannula and left the blood dripping on the floor. While the nurse managed to guide him back to his room, he was still in an abusive speech pattern.

After he settled down, I approached him to insert a new cannula and recommence the fluid. As soon as I identified myself and got his approval for the procedure, he started racing through his story with me and bragging about how much he used to drink.  

While he was telling me that he often could finish a whole bottle of bourbon at one night if he was in a good mood, I cut in with an exaggerated exclamation:

"A whole bottle of bourbon at one night? What are you? An Irish in St Patrick's Day?"

Gentleman: "Yeah, you got that one right. How do you know?"     

webster

See you later, alligator
After awhile, crocodile
Bye-bye, butterfly
Give a hug, ladybug
Toodle-ee-oo, kangaroo
See you soon, raccoon
Time to go, buffalo
Can’t stay, blue jay
Mañana, iguana
The end, my friend!

webster

See you later, alligator
After awhile, crocodile
Bye-bye, butterfly
Give a hug, ladybug
Toodle-ee-oo, kangaroo
See you soon, raccoon
Time to go, buffalo
Can’t stay, blue jay
Mañana, iguana
The end, my friend!

yping88

A lady was in the absolute panic status when I told her I was gonna put in a cannula for her: "Oh, my god! Please forgive my dramatic reaction to this, I am so scared of this."

Me: You are scared because you will get fainted from seeing blood or the sharp? (If someone gets fainted from seeing blood, we should be extra careful with that, he/she could collapse and need the emergency intervention!)

Her: The feeling of being hurt! Sorry to tell you this, but I am just a chicken (胆小鬼)！

Me: Fair enough! But trust me on this that after this experience, you will become a rooster!

yping88

I will account chapter and verse on what happened on that particular day  我会原原本本地描述那天发生的事情

I can quote chapter and verse on what grounds you stood on regarding that particular issue  关于你采用何种观点，我能原原本本地引用你说有的原话

I will no longer take a laid back attitude towards this issue! 对这个问题，我不会再采取事不关己，高高挂起的态度了

yping88

Something is put on the backburner for the time being  某事儿被暂时搁置

Things are on a rollercoaster 事情在短时间内发生巨大的变化

yping88

Some people just do my head in  烦死我了

yping88

You are my inspiration, MM!

I haven't written anything recently, but I am sure I will keep our project go on, even sometimes, only a little step forward. But it will be carried on surely!

Diggie

yping88 发表于 10-12-2013 22:45

                               
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Let's sink out teeth into it  让我们尽心尽力去做这件事

They lost the ground under their feet 他们 ...

Thanks a lot!
is that "out" a typo?

Diggie

yping88 发表于 10-12-2013 22:45

                               
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Let's sink out teeth into it  让我们尽心尽力去做这件事

They lost the ground under their feet 他们 ...

Thanks yping88, can you give an example to explain "Cut ground from under one's feet 被别人算计了/计划被别人破坏了"

I have been reading your posts for a week, really appreciate all the efforts you have done!, also thanks michelle07 for her good work!  

Diggie

yping88 发表于 29-12-2013 14:21

                               
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You seem hot under the collar，你像是怒气冲冲的样子 do you mind telling what was bothering you?  

...

"Got married to someone while being want of understanding  缺乏理解"

Can you put it in a context?

What you have provided is not only the usage of English in daily life, but more of the understanding of Aussie culture!

yping88

Diggie 发表于 30-6-2014 12:36

                               
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Thanks a lot!
is that "out" a typo?

Thank you for pointing that out, Diggie!

It should be "Sinking our teeth into it"!

The correction has been made!

yping88

Diggie 发表于 30-6-2014 12:47

                               
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Thanks yping88, can you give an example to explain "Cut ground from under one's feet 被别人算计了/ ...

I came across this expression in the conversations between my colleague and me when I felt upset about Will's business downturn after Alicia betrayed his trust by stealing their clients from him (Please refer to American TV series--Good Wife).

I said that what Alicia did to Will was so uncalled for, it was reasonable that she wanted to start a firm of her own, but she had no right to steal the valuable clients from Will's firm. To think about how much Will did to help her back up to her feet when she was left high and dry, I would call her a back stabber!

My colleague: Yeah, you could say that. What she did to Will was terrible, she actually cut the ground from under his feet and left his firm absolutely unsupported.

Me: You could understand how much I love Will, he was definitely a true friend, someone you could absolutely rely on. We could tell that from the relationship between him and Diana. You couldn't imagine how much pain I felt when I saw Will's difficult situation, I could actually feel his strong vulnerability and anger! I didn't even have any more heart to continue watching this show if Will kept staying in this downhill!

My colleague: No, I suggest you to stick with it! I wouldn't tell you how he is doing now, but I can assure you: He is only down for a bit, he is not out!

Diggie

yping88 发表于 30-6-2014 18:03

                               
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I came across this expression in the conversations between my colleague and me when I felt upset a ...

Thank you

yping88

Diggie 发表于 30-6-2014 14:20

                               
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"Got married to someone while being want of understanding  缺乏理解"

Can you put it in a contex ...

So glad you like this post! Once again, I see where my inspiration comes from and why both @MICHELLE07 and I need to carry on with our commitment to it.

You are welcome to share what you have learned as well, so we can all grow into this culture together!

"Be married to someone while being want of understanding" in the context:

A divorcing couple can always use the statements like this:

We sadly announce that we decide to get a divorce now with each other's best interest in heart! We have regretfully found out that we actually have sought the different things in life. Getting married to each other while being want of understanding makes us both grow apart from each other. To help with each other's growth, we will have to let go off each other and pursue what we really wanted. But, we will remain friends for the benefit of our children!

yping88

A patient was confused and verbally aggressive, she needed several staff to assist her to reposition in bed to ensure her safety. Because she got the shoulder dislocation as well, an extra staff had to be there to support her shoulder while the others repositioned her.

Because so many staff were there, it was hard to follow one clear direction when rolling her over. There was no discussion about how to go at it, then we all got confused who's order we should follow. Then, one staff stepped up and said:

Hey, guys, I think we should talk about it and come up with a clear plan. Otherwise, it's hard to achieve anything for her. You know---Too many cooks spoil the broth! 下指令的人多了，反而误事儿   

yping88

The sword of Damocles  即将来临的灾难