请同学们看一看，这样写能拿到6分吗？ 先谢谢各位同学啦 ^_^

finalfantasy

各位同学，请帮忙参谋一下看我这篇作文是否能拿6分？

Some people think high school students should be encouraged to evaluate their teachers, but others think it will result in loss of respect and discipline in classrooms.  
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Evaluate system has become prevalent in the contemporary education organization and become more significant channel to improve teacher’s teaching level ,whether evaluate system is a blessing or a curse has sparked spirited debate. Some people argue that students evaluate their teacher should be encouraged, on the other hand their counterpart think it will result in loss of respect and discipline in classrooms. Personally, I am in favor of the former view.

Admittedly, evaluating from students may also carry considerable potential drawbacks. while students perform the assessment to their teachers should be inaccurate also not so objectively. For instance some students do not like the ordinary class in school; they not only perform the wrong judgment but also do not compliance the school’s regulation. The evaluating in this way would be misleading the related person such as headmaster makes the wrong judgment of the teacher’s performance.  
  
Despite this, the evaluates form students has brought numerous benefits. In the first place, the assessment help teachers gathering the information about their teaching method from different students. In general, with the help of the evaluates teachers can find their teaching drawback, that is a good way to enhance teachers skill level, and from this way it is also another positive channel to add the interactions between teachers and students. More new ideas will be raised through student's advise. Indeed, teacher can not always accurate, so students through this way to deliver their opinion to their teacher, which is a win-win result for the both sides. Last but not least, if collected mass of advises from the students, which is a significant information baseline to help the education ministry know, what are the current students wanted and what they concerned, thus education ministry can transform the current education situation from the it.

In the final analysis, I concede that the evaluate from the students sometime does not base on the students real thinking and also without the suitable and objective feedback. However, the benefits created by the evaluate far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should further promote students evaluate their teachers and meanwhile bring more benefits for the whole education arena, which is the whole country’s potential.

alone056

很不错了 我觉得可以6.5了吧 等高手评

ghrong

还可以吧, 稍微有点小语法和结构问题, 不过猜想大概6分应该有的.

[ 本帖最后由 ghrong 于 7-1-2010 22:24 编辑 ]

finalfantasy

多谢同学们的指点，我这几天打算每天写一篇，然后去找人批改。
Many Thanks!

finalfantasy

另外贴了一篇，刚写完。

Many people believe that the main aim for university education is to help graduates to find better jobs, while some people believe that university education has wider benefits for individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.71208

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The employment rate for  the university students after their graduate，which become a significant topic for the society. When folks talk about this issue some part thought university should take the main responsibility to assistant graduates seeking a better job, meanwhile their counterpart believes that college education system has extensive benefits for everyone and whole society. Personally I am in favor the later view.


Admittedly, hiring rate of the society not only a fundamental factor to indicate the economy situation but also highlight the society structure, whether stable or not which become essential for every citizen of whole nation, so that the related administrative must set it as the highly priority to face it. People should have a better job after that they can gain a better life, thus without a reasonable job folks will do not have basic income to support their family and their future. Upon factor illustrate why some people argued that the university education should take the responsibility to support the graduates develop specific ability to gain a job. To match the requirement, colleges can leap some useful career development specific training for all the students will be graduates, such as invite some former graduates whom now become celebrity. In this channel pre-graduates can gain the successful experience from their predecessors.

Without University education the country would loss the passion and capability for the further development. As we know currently human being have entrance an information explosion century. Lots of technologies were the achievement from the University. For instance the famous internet searching engine "Google.com”, which make by two Stanford genius students, without the university education these technology will be not come true. All the new invents must base on the fundamental knowledge which all came from the researching of university. Consequently, people agree with that university education system has numerous benefits for the individuals same as the society.

In conclusion, my personally view of the university education, the basic knowledge investigation ratio should take the dominant position within the university system

[ 本帖最后由 finalfantasy 于 9-1-2010 17:07 编辑 ]

finalfantasy

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
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The environment of people whom rose against the characteristics we are born, which one should be the major influence of our personality this is a persistent topic for us. Different people maybe have hundreds point of view, in this essay I will discuss about this controversial topic and layout my personally opinion.

Personality, which is one kind of emotional attributes of human being. It's complex and also effected by many kinds of factors. The people whom rose in different environment will have different personality. For instance, the kids whom rose in single parent families compare with the youngster rose in two-parent families they will have completely different personality, from this we can gain the parts of conclusion that the experience and environment we may have in our life will have big impact of our personality.

Admittedly, the characteristics we are born also have tremendous influence of our personality. There have a truly social psychological experiment occur in U.S. Scientist raised a project they found the twins whom discard by their mother due to their mother do not have the ability to raise them up so sent them to the social ware fare organization. The twins sister were split and sent to different families to raise up, after that the scientist went to see there grow up status periodicity; the twins do not know there have a sister whom has the same blood exist in the world. After both of them 35 years old they meet again due to the help from the social volunteer. After have a long talk they found that both of them have very familiar experience and personality even have the same position during there college life.  So from this we can get another part of conclusion that the born and the inheritance also have major influence for the personality.

Consequently, we can gain the conclusion that both of the born inheritance and experiences of our life have tremendous influence of our personality. In my opinion, the two parts almost be equal against each other.