偶没水平写正经英文，开始贴笑话吧

指纹

As above.

1.         Start of the list:

2.         My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

3.         Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

        Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

        Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

        Patrick: "What school?"

4.         What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
        -
        Snowballs.

To be continued...

yearshappy

每天来笑笑，来学学

yearshappy

就叫笑话贴多好， 增加点幽默感

指纹

yearshappy 发表于 20-9-2018 23:15
就叫笑话贴多好， 增加点幽默感

我这叫‘笑话吧’，吧比帖洋气

yearshappy

指纹 发表于 20-9-2018 23:16
我这叫‘笑话吧’，吧比帖洋气

原来在说我土，土好， 接地气站的稳

指纹

yearshappy 发表于 20-9-2018 23:18
原来在说我土，土好， 接地气站的稳

土好，长出来的作物就好

huanged

There is one come into my mind. It's from Big Bang

"What is the common between black hole and {somebody}?"

"They both suck!"

-- You can replace {somebody} with anyone. Use it to prank your friends

指纹

huanged 发表于 21-9-2018 10:04
There is one come into my mind. It's from Big Bang

"What is the common between black hole and {so ...

骂人

愚夫

Snowballs !   --- 高

指纹

----------------------------------------------------
Sleep with an open window tonight!

1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this.

One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.

-------------------------------------------------------
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“

------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: “Do you do sports?”

Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Patient: “Then no.”

----------to be continued----------

蓝山夜妖

MICHELLE07

3.         Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

         Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

         Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

         Patrick: "What school?"

这个是说学校被炸毁了？

有个中文版的，小正太去幼儿园上学第一天回来，妈妈问到明天
孩子说，明天还去？我不是已经上过了吗

天天上学很烦
上论坛也是，想来就来才好。

MICHELLE07

A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room.

The first room is ablaze with fire.
The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters.
The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years.

Which room should he choose to survive?

答案先不公布。不要搜哦！

老毒物

指纹 发表于 20-9-2018 23:16
我这叫‘笑话吧’，吧比帖洋气

成年人，还是喜欢逛吧 多一些

老毒物

看标题，指纹必须写些不正经的，否则对不起大伙儿

yping88

Hey, this totally cracked me up

yping88

https://www.facebook.com/ABCTV/v ... pm/290096048483345/

yping88

https://www.facebook.com/ABCTV/v ... pm/290096048483345/

Hahaha, Killed myself laughing!

指纹

老毒物 发表于 22-9-2018 06:11
看标题，指纹必须写些不正经的，否则对不起大伙儿

贴个不正经的：

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

MillerYang

MICHELLE07 发表于 22-9-2018 00:24
这个是说学校被炸毁了？

有个中文版的，小正太去幼儿园上学第一天回来，妈妈问到明天

记忆中有一首儿歌，大致是这个歌词：

太阳当空照，花儿对我笑
小鸟说，早早早，你为什么背上炸药包

我去炸学校，老师不知道
炸药包，点着了，轰地一声学校不见了。。。

指纹

yping88 发表于 22-9-2018 07:02
Hey, this totally cracked me up

You don't get to tell me what to do, you are not my daughter

指纹

MillerYang 发表于 22-9-2018 11:38
记忆中有一首儿歌，大致是这个歌词：

太阳当空照，花儿对我笑

你这个版本为啥我们学校没教

指纹

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
-
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
-
The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

------------------------------------------------------

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
  
   The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”

---------------------------------------------------------

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

---------------------------------------------------

Police: “Open the door!”
-
Man: “I don’t want any balls!”
-
Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!”
-
Man: “I know.”

----------------------------------------------------------

In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

指纹

MICHELLE07 发表于 22-9-2018 00:27
A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room.

The first room ...

the third one. obviously the pair of lions had killed each other or at least had half life left.

牧马人

Police: “Open the door!”
-
Man: “I don’t want any balls!”
-
Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!”
-
Man: “I know

Bugger me! That's a good one.

牧马人

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?
Well you can't marmalade a stick into somebody's ar**

坏熊猫

so funny. LOL

坏熊猫

so funny

MICHELLE07

指纹 发表于 22-9-2018 11:58
the third one. obviously the pair of lions had killed each other or at least had half life left.{: ...

被你蒙对了
不过你想几年没吃了的狮子还能活吗？

指纹

MICHELLE07 发表于 22-9-2018 22:59
被你蒙对了
不过你想几年没吃了的狮子还能活吗？