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[澳洲英语] 雅思写作,作文怎么弄到7啊?

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发表于 11-6-2016 21:43:56 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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我是必须雅思7炸的类型,无奈写作似乎成了拦路虎,最近写了一篇,高手们能帮我看看吗? 问题在哪,能否到7

Currently more and more old people respect elders and become convinced that old people should live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that older people should live at a nursing home. What is your opinion?

Caring for old people was traditionally the responsibility of families, while nowadays the senior citizens can choose to live at cares homes provided by local authorities after their retirement. My view is that it is better for them stay at those cares homes.

Families today are likely to be unable to take care of their old relatives because that both of the young couple in a family have to work has become the norm. Modern society has become increasingly competitive; it is fairly difficult for young couples to raise a family without both of them working. Those old people who are left at home might have to be staying alone during their children's working hours, which may be dangerous for them since they may have nobody to turn to whenever there is an emergency.

Furthermore, nurses at nursing homes tend to be better trained to take care of the old than family members, and as a result, they can provide a more professional service. Case in point, those nursing workers may have expertise to deal with old people's common psychological problems, while most family members are unlikely to get such nursing training because they usually have full-time jobs. In addition, being with their peers, instead of staying at home watching TV, can avoid those psychological problems to some extent, and help them to lead a happier life.

In conclusion, I am convinced that it would be a better choice for old people to stay at residential homes, and that governments should invest more in facilities and training for care workers.
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发表于 11-6-2016 23:07:06 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 西澳海豚 于 11-6-2016 20:12 编辑

5.5 ?

我觉得你平时阅读的质和量都明显不足-------------

建议:从英文报纸着手,每天找一篇有兴趣的文章,约300-500字,然後~~把文章用手誊写一遍。

三个月後应该能见效!方法很简单,贵在坚持!

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参与人数 1威望 +50 收起 理由
mmxx + 50 我很赞同!

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发表于 12-6-2016 07:55:59 | 显示全部楼层
不错

我写不出这样的文章

我的背景是
我从1998年就开始生活,工作在新西兰啦,工作都是说英文,也通过了IELTS nz immigration的分数啦,当然那时移民要求的考试分数比较低

其实工作中的email要求我感觉其实非常低,写的清晰,正确,不能有混淆

如果不清楚的话,也就skype电视交流啦
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发表于 20-7-2016 23:52:54 | 显示全部楼层
如果语法和逻辑没什么毛病,多写点就有7。我知道7的都是 250->300,语法用词还是那样,就7了。
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发表于 20-7-2016 23:56:31 | 显示全部楼层
刚看内容,质量不到6啊
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发表于 21-7-2016 10:24:07 | 显示全部楼层
西澳海豚 发表于 11-6-2016 22:07
5.5 ?

我觉得你平时阅读的质和量都明显不足-------------

其实海豚这个方法应该考过雅思后也继续坚持。只是一张安静的书桌不是什么时候都能找得到地方放。
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发表于 26-7-2016 00:09:16 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
我以为,上面说话太犀利,这文章我有一次考试时候写过,得了8.5,楼主写的不错,肯定是7,第二段连词用的不够,逻辑不明显。词汇不重复,语法问题少,比较易读,一致性高的文章一定是7。根本不在乎你的观点如何,范文也都是废话连篇,主要看的语言运用能力,而不是内容。
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发表于 2-8-2016 17:30:11 | 显示全部楼层
其实跟中文的写作技巧是一样的,要注意架构清晰,论点清晰,总结,分述再小结,点题,不必太辞藻。
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发表于 16-8-2016 14:33:11 | 显示全部楼层
提示: 该帖被管理员或版主屏蔽
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发表于 12-10-2016 19:49:06 | 显示全部楼层
我的妈,上面意见分歧很大啊……5.5-7……
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