大作文练习一篇

daiyi2002

Simon网站上的题目 跟着练习下，求大侠批改。（文中第二段是Simon的原文）

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the income is a key element when people decide whether to accept an offer or not. However, I strongly disagree with the idea that it should be considered as the most important of all.

On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for people to meet their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for housing, food, bills, health care, and education. Most people consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If people chose their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves. Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide them with enough money to live comfortably and raise a family.

On the other hand, there are several factors that as just as important as money. Firstly, many people place importance to their own interests simply because it is often hard to be passionate if you are not interested in what you are doing. As a result, it will lead to less opportunities for promotion and career development. Secondly, the level of work-life balance is a vital factor to consider, especially for those who are married or have children. If they are required to work overtime regularly or far away from family for several month during a year, most people tend to reject the offer even though it might pay more in terms of salary. Finally, company culture and workplace environment can be taken into account. For instance, a company in which employees can not feel a sense of belonging to a whole team is usually considered as less attractive than one with better team spirit and vision.

In conclusion, it seems to me that money is absolutely an important measurement. Apart from that, however, other factors such as interests, work-life balance and company culture should be given equal priority.

ewaninflames

楼主simon的套路已经轻车熟路了。several months。感觉7+肯定的。就是感觉开头没写清楚。你写两边，但开头你strongly disagree。第二段你又agree。所以开头最好用while写一些。不然没法展开两边。而且题目问的是agree or diagree。不是discuss both views and give your opinion。cc会扣分。simon开头的写法有说过。可能个人理解有误。勿喷。

daiyi2002

ewaninflames 发表于 24-4-2014 23:31

                               
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楼主simon的套路已经轻车熟路了。several months。感觉7+肯定的。就是感觉开头没写清楚。你写两边，但开头你 ...

非常感谢！看过你的帖子 都是simon的忠实粉丝哈

我原以为开头那个it is true 有这个效果，但是如你所说确实用while写下才能更加明确的符合两边展开。看多了simon的例文，总是用 It is true...

还有个关于作文的句子写法问题 我去你帖子问下吧：）

ewaninflames

对啊。感觉simon的写法是很对考官的路子的。我第四次今天出的成绩，写作也是7+，所以跟着simon写作能过很稳定。
开头的确很重要，但是开头的写法相对主题段落来说很机械化。把所有的问题方式看看。花1，2个小时找写作基金上的题目练习下就好。建议楼主注意下语法上的单复数和定冠词the。