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本帖最后由 homeboxoffice 于 23-9-2013 13:25 编辑
pawehu 发表于 23-9-2013 12:30
“谈论了金钱和时间的为什么重要，根本算不上是论述，只能算是对题目的另一种陈述”
怎样才算得上是论述？
刚刚看了一下你写的，说说我的思维。
这种题structure这样处理，第一段Introduction，第二段：第一个问题，第二段第二个问题，最后一段conclusion。
其中第二段又有两种情况，第一种：中立（这个题目好像不中立为好），那就写钱的重要性，然后空闲的重要性；第二种：偏向，然后用两个情况（例子之类的）来支持你认为重要的。
Extended life expectancy and stable income have inspired people to pay attention to the quality of life. Opinions on what constitutes a affluent life are remain under heated debate. Some people argue that money or leisure time is the top priority, while I think family ties also play significant roles in acquiring high quality of life.
Money is a solid foundation to high standard lifestyles, especially for those countries that (where/in which) social safety net (safety net?) is not well-established. People who live in developing countries have to use money to trade off basic social services, such as education and medical care. The reason of this phenomenon lies in the fact that their government do not have adequate capitals and resources put into such long term investments. As a result, people have to rely on private schools or hospitals with (the rate) far beyond market price, and money is the key to access quality services.
Another factor that contribute to life quality is considerable leisure time. Undoubtedly, fast pace of lifestyle and irregular working hours in modern society have made leisure time a precious matter to acquire. For example, people have to maintain contacts with colleagues and deal with business transactions even when they (delete when they) after work, leaving less time on their hobby activities (hobbies or activities), including (such as, not including. Include seems meaning everything) reading and travelling overseas. From time to time, people with busy lifestyle will lose their interest on discovering the beauty of life and become indifferent to surrounding environment.
In light of above facts, personally I think that family support is also an dispensable (misuse this word, but resulting in a bad result) issue to take into consideration. Family members express their care and love by participating family meals and by looking after children, (and/so) all these little movements remind us that we live in harmonious lives. In other words, a sense of belonging and emotional ties from family are the ultimate definition of high quality of life.
In summary, I hold the position that money surpass leisure time to account for high standard of life, and in addition to these two factors, family bonds (are) also responsible for life quality. |
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发表于 23-9-2013 02:07:00
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