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Sorry，I just cannot fall in love with you.
Although we have a lot of similarities, we could chat for whole day without stop, we could have exactly the same feeling to music, sorry, I just cannot fall in love with you.
The first time we met is in a sunshine day. We sat in a restaurant near darling harbor, you let me sit in a place where I could observe beautiful view of the harbor. You said we were in a fish pool, now we were the fishes inside. But at that time, I was so heartbroken from my last love. Thus I said anything I want to say without consideration of your feeling, I even seldom smile, I am so self-willed, but you still smiled to me. I still immersed in my own sadness until you played a Beethoven’s music in car. You said Beethoven is the most favorite musician you like. His music is full of passion. I forgot which music’s playing at that time, but I could feel a little bit happy, a little bit dreams and a little bit sentimental in that music. You said this is the music Beethoven composed when he felt in love with girl. Thus it is one of few of Beethoven’s happy music. I was so moved by his music at that time and also moved by your feeling to that music; I found we had allmost the same feeling to that music.
The days we spent together, you showed me your deep thoughts, your talent, your humidity to me all the times. I found you were so close to me to my soul. You always could make me happy when I was sad, you always could help me make analysis to what I was thinking. You always could understand me all the times and make me think you sometimes much matured in your heart comparing to your appearance. But I feel so sorry, I just cannot, cannot, cannot fall in love with you.
Sorry, I have refused your love. I could understand your sadness at this moment, because I have experienced it before. Thus I could respect any choice of you, to disappear or keep contact. I know it is a hard time for you. But I have to say this is the first time I feel so sad when saying "no" to a person. I cried when I was reading the letter you sent to me. You said we were in a same sinking boat, but in the end you are luckier than me because I haven’t left you in the dark, but that Beijing guy left me alone in the middle of the darkness and loneliness. You were aware of my situation from the very first time you met me, knew I was broken hearted. You thought you could help me to recover, but after trying so hard, you realized that you have failed, you feel so useless. Dear Jacky, how could I refuse you, but sorry, I just can’t.
Because you love me, then you think I am the most honorable and the most admiring girl that you have ever known. And the man who marries me would be luckiest the man in the future. Dear Jacky, I have to say love make person blind, but if no blind, how could people love each other. Love couldn’t be controlled, if could be controlled, that isn’t 100% love. I still could control my feeling to you, this isn’t a love. I know you want to rebate me again, because you said controlled love could last forever.
I will be selfish if I still keep you as my friend, although I think we could be best soul mate in our life. I still want to see you playing piano in your house, but the best time it would happen when you could feel happy for this visit, not a suffering. Dear Jacky, my friend. Now I could understand, love and to be loved, is not easy to find in the world, to refuse love and to be refused of love, is a hurt to both. But this is the life we were experienced, are experiencing and will experience in the future.
[ 本帖最后由 stunner 于 28-8-2009 06:49 编辑 ] |
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发表于 27-8-2009 23:47:13
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楼主
发表于 28-8-2009 00:55:39
