Do you ever feel that you don't belong?

xblues

candle21

16th September 2008 11:26 PM

                                                                                        Do you ever feel that you don't belong?

                                                                Do you ever feel that you don't belong sometimes in some situations?

Whether sometimes when you're out with friends/your group, in work social situations, online, etc.?

I'm not experiencing any of those these days (thank goodness) but Ihave in the past and hate them. It gets so awkward I just feel like Iwant to disappear.

Any experiences to share?
       

ecclipse83 16th September 2008 11:38 PM                                                                                                                 boy! aren't you inquisitive little fellow ... when are you going to run outta questions. now on topic , i currently am experiencing this for the first time everin my current work situation, this is unusual being a character thatadapts to most situations and understanding standing the method andinformation behind the DISC behavioral profiles .. i have learnt to adapt to most situations i face though

candle21 16th September 2008 11:56 PM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by ecclipse83                                        (Post 48739)                                                                boy! aren't you inquisitive little fellow ... when are you going to run outta questions.                                                                 I guess that's my problem... I think too much and always have too much to talk about and end up talking too much! Sorry! lol

ecclipse83 16th September 2008 11:58 PM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by candle21                                        (Post 48751)                                                                I guess that's my problem... I think too much and always have too much to talk about and end up talking too much! Sorry! lol                                                                 oh get over it!  its good dude!

DeepBlueDreamer 17th September 2008 12:43 AM                                                                                                                 Yes. Where do you want me to start? Until I moved to Australia I was surrounded by conservative hard-core capitalists with religious tendencies. Now I get to pick & chose the people I associate with...:-)

candle21 17th September 2008 12:44 AM                                                                                                                 lol

marly 17th September 2008 06:45 AM                                                                                                                 Ive felt I dont belong my entire life

brodes13 17th September 2008 08:43 AM                                                                                                                 I always feel out of place. I think too much too - and analyse everyone around me - and absorb a lot about a situation. If I'm not talking - I am simply taking it all in!

gnosis 17th September 2008 08:49 AM                                                                                                                 Sometimes.I remember feeling intellectually isolated when I was back in schoolbut I've managed to surround myself with a pretty great bunch of smartand funny people since then. Oh and it's sometimes a bit isolating when you're the tallest person inthe room. Especially in clubs when you can't hear everyone talkingbelow you, haha.

weathervain 17th September 2008 08:54 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by marly                                        (Post 48793)                                                                Ive felt I dont belong my entire life                                                                 Ditto But I somehow find it comforting, you would too if you grew up in Blacktown

sneakos 17th September 2008 08:58 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by marly                                        (Post 48793)                                                                Ive felt I dont belong my entire life                                                                 anotha ditto!!! luckily most of my buddies feel th same way - so we're liek a bunch ofmisfits that all have that in common - tho i still feel liek a misfitamong a bunch of misfits at times - lolz!!!!

David DC 17th September 2008 09:23 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by brodes13                                        (Post 48805)                                                                I always feel out of place. I think too much too - and analyse everyone around me - and absorb a lot about a situation. If I'm not talking - I am simply taking it all in!                                                                 yep, that's totally me too! round peg in a square hole and all that. one might say, unique! I do! ;) I struggled for many years but now accept and am comfortable with who I am... so it's all good. mostly.

David DC 17th September 2008 09:25 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by sneakos                                        (Post 48817)                                                                anotha ditto!!! luckily most of my buddies feel th same way - so we're liek a bunch ofmisfits that all have that in common - tho i still feel liek a misfitamong a bunch of misfits at times - lolz!!!!                                                                 double ditto! :cool:

brodes13 17th September 2008 09:40 AM                                                                                                                 Yeah - I knida find comfort in being differnt It means that I make my own rules - and dont need to behave in a certain way...

candle21 17th September 2008 09:44 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by marly                                        (Post 48793)                                                                Ive felt I dont belong my entire life                                                                 I felt the same way growing up Marly! From school to social situations to anything really! It wasn't until college that I felt I fit in (a bit...). However, I'm fine with it now though (well sort of)...

David DC 17th September 2008 10:46 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by brodes13                                        (Post 48830)                                                                Yeah - I knida find comfort in being differnt It means that I make my own rules - and dont need to behave in a certain way...                                                                 exactly

dreadcircus 17th September 2008 10:53 AM                                                                                                                 Yesand I love it!!!! There were times in my life where I worried why Inever seemed to fit in. Well I actually do fit in as I have no troubleslinking into whatever is going on I guess I just feel differentoverall to most people. I was always the comic relief at school as itwas the easiest way to fit in with the majority of boring people. Notfitting in is actually very damn cool as it normally means you attractlikewise.. For some reason I went through periods of really trying to fit in andthen once I felt accepted and that I was fitting in the challenge wasover so I'd ditch the people I'd srtived to fit in with. I kinda gotoff on being the freak during school. Being the first to have a nosepiercing and to wear a leather jacket to my school etc These days I like the mix of just blending into society as I trudge thedaily grind of work and love knowing I do things that others would killto do. I guess I'm just a chameleon at heart.

sTaRiA 17th September 2008 10:58 AM                                                                                                                 Only recently

morgan 17th September 2008 12:20 PM                                                                                                                 I regularly feel out of place. I used to feel out of place at school, but mostly loved college. Right now, I feel out of place in some straight venues, always atweddings and christenings, and always at churches/religious places if Ihave to go. I also sometimes feel out of place in some gay venues or events, when I'm only there because of my camera. In all cases I just get on with it.

Ruffnut 17th September 2008 01:45 PM                                                                                                                 Ifelt out of place most of my life too growing up in the westernsuburbs. Once I came out and moved away from home, then met my bf allthat changed and I discovered where I fitted in. From there I builtupon my fears to the point now where I couldn't give a shit what anyonethinks of me. I am happy with me and the person I have become - with alittle help from my misfit friends and that is all that matters.

Hudson08 17th September 2008 01:52 PM                                                                                                                 Ialways feel like this and I'm sure we all go through it. You eventuallylearn better social skills over time and identify common interests withpeople, even if they're completely different from you. My work requires me to be very social and talk to everyone and getpeople talking to each other at events. It takes practice and morepractice and then it becomes almost second nature. There are plenty ofself-help books that teach you how to interact with people in socialgroups and become more cofident and carry a conversation with moreease. I'm guilty of verbal diarrhea as I feel really uncomfortable when no one is talking. So you aren't the only one!

Anthony Mahera 17th September 2008 07:23 PM                                                                                                                 Every day of my life. But hay.............it's ok.

dreadcircus 17th September 2008 07:35 PM                                                                                                                 Well... look at all of us outcasts and misfits............. Lets have a ****in partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

GenesisInVain 17th September 2008 07:35 PM                                                                                                                 Thesedays I SOMETIMES feel so out of place when I'm surrounded by too manystraight people and if i'm the only queer person around. It's kind ofthreatening. I need another queer person in my realm. I feel like I'm atoken if I'm the only one....though I love my straight mates just asmuch! And sometimes I feel ethnic. I don't usually hang out withfilos...they piss me off, so I tend to stick to other people,especially anglos but other than that I'm fine on my own.

GenesisInVain 17th September 2008 07:36 PM                                                                                                                 I'm with the party mentality

Anthony Mahera 17th September 2008 07:39 PM                                                                                                                 Well I'm on my third wine so............

candle21 17th September 2008 07:56 PM                                                                                                                 I agree; misfit party!

dreadcircus 17th September 2008 08:12 PM                                                                                                                 I've got a scotch )))) Bopping to Kylie remixes... oh how camp!

ecclipse83 17th September 2008 10:20 PM                                                                                                                 GIN where is the GIn ....GiN ... Gin... GIN!!! ~;-)

DeepBlueDreamer 17th September 2008 11:18 PM                                                                                                                 So this is where I fit in...drinks on me!!!!!  :-D

DeepBlueDreamer

17th September 2008 11:20 PM

                                                                                                                        Quote:
       

Originally Posted by brodes13                                        (Post 48805)                                                                I always feel out of place. I think too much too - and analyse everyone around me - and absorb a lot about a situation. If I'm not talking - I am simply taking it all in!

People complain about me for doing that...some still do.
       

weathervain 18th September 2008 02:36 AM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by GenesisInVain                                        (Post 48989)                                                                Thesedays I SOMETIMES feel so out of place when I'm surrounded by too manystraight people and if i'm the only queer person around. It's kind ofthreatening. I need another queer person in my realm. I feel like I'm atoken if I'm the only one....though I love my straight mates just asmuch! And sometimes I feel ethnic. I don't usually hang out withfilos...they piss me off, so I tend to stick to other people,especially anglos but other than that I'm fine on my own.                                                                 I'm so opposite to this, I love hanging with straights they get so curious and I find it hilarious. Tonight I took 8 of the kids from my college down to manacle, wasn'treally planning on them making me wear the cock socks thing so I wouldhave waxed/trimmed properly if I knew. But yeah I think people feed into your insecurities, if you don't havethem they don't pick up on them, that said my road to gay is alotdifferent from other people's when I finally worked it out it was sucha ****ing relief that nothing makes me feel strange except other queerswho try to tell me I knew I was gay all along. I don't know probably helps that I read X-men and Inhumans alot growingup so I have metaphorical positive role model templates for being anoutcast or aberrant to run of the mill homo sapiens or as we call themFlat Scans. as Mr Wagner says in X-men 2 "I pity them... because most people willnever believe anything more than what they see with their own two eyes"

brodes13 18th September 2008 08:09 AM                                                                                                                 Oh count me in! any excuse shall do

jal_goh 18th September 2008 10:16 PM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by brodes13                                        (Post 48805)                                                                I always feel out of place. I think too much too - and analyse everyone around me - and absorb a lot about a situation. If I'm not talking - I am simply taking it all in!                                                                 really? you always look more comfortable than me... esp in speeedos lol but yes i can get quite paranoid and start making up what people thinkabout me in my little head of mine. or maybe im not really paranoid andits really happening - ok i gotta stop thinking...

jal_goh 18th September 2008 10:22 PM                                                                                                                         Quote:                                                                                                                                 Originally Posted by weathervain                                        (Post 49123)                                                                I'm so opposite to this, I love hanging with straights they get so curious and I find it hilarious. Tonight I took 8 of the kids from my college down to manacle, wasn'treally planning on them making me wear the cock socks thing so I wouldhave waxed/trimmed properly if I knew. But yeah I think people feed into your insecurities, if you don't havethem they don't pick up on them, that said my road to gay is alotdifferent from other people's when I finally worked it out it was sucha ****ing relief that nothing makes me feel strange except other queerswho try to tell me I knew I was gay all along. I don't know probably helps that I read X-men and Inhumans alot growingup so I have metaphorical positive role model templates for being anoutcast or aberrant to run of the mill homo sapiens or as we call themFlat Scans. as Mr Wagner says in X-men 2 "I pity them... because most people willnever believe anything more than what they see with their own two eyes"                                                                 Omg i love the xmen and so see the allegory. I am in love with WarrenWurthington the third (angel boy with wings), and i find therelationship interesting between him and Collosus (Peter). Following onfrom discussion i am often one of the only straights amongst gay boys,sometimes i feel out of place but ive come to love it. Its importanti'm more so a girl friend than a faghag, because then i feel like a'token asian faghag' as my friend jason once called me.

                               

brodes13

19th September 2008 08:31 AM

                                                                                                                        Quote:
       

Originally Posted by jal_goh                                        (Post 49393)                                                                really? you always look more comfortable than me... esp in speeedos lol but yes i can get quite paranoid and start making up what people thinkabout me in my little head of mine. or maybe im not really paranoid andits really happening - ok i gotta stop thinking...

Lol - this might sound silly - but the speedos are kinda likejumping into a character with me. I get a whole lot more confidence!its almost like wearing a mask.

You know me - you know how I analyse everyone - try to work out theirmotivations - try and suss out why the behave the way they do - arethey really my friend? or are they just using me?

I am not paranoid about it - but just dont feel the need to waste perfectly good intentions on someone who doesnt deserve them.

That all being said - I feel a lot more in place everywhere these days- with straight people and with gays... I am much better at judgingcharacter, and i dont really care what people think about me if I dontlike them!

I had a great chat with a good friend of mine who also said beinggay we dont follow any rules - so if people dont want to accept me forwho I am and what i believe (whether I behave in a stereotypical way ornot)- then **** them (not literally). I make no apologies for enjoyingMY life how I want to live it. I only get once chance.

ritaclin

sometimes， yeh。。。