What do you think about him when you miss him?

xblues

A boy who I met randomly shuts me down over a SMS after we spent 4 nights together. My mind tells me that I have to erase him from my memory, but my heart just drives me crazy, and eventually the winner always be my heart.

Was it sex that I wanted from him? Yes, the sex was wonderful to me, and I know it can always get better and better. But I know it isn't sex, that the only thing, that trapped me.

I think I was actually even considering to buy a router... so when he comes over we can share the internet connection. And all those sort of small things keep popping up into my mind. Silly? Yes, I know, but isn't this what I have been imagined for years if I found someone to live together with? Shopping for a bar of chocolate can be a sweet thing of being with him.

Doesn't the feeling of miss him just make me keep thinking all those good qualities of him? Are those all true? I intend to believe so. No doubt, he's a sweet boy, at least he can be quite sweet with the one he wants to be with. Shit, I have to make him bad, make him cruel in my mind. As it's not about him, it's about me trying to get rid of him from my mind.

He wants us to be just friends, and I think I would be happy with whatever I can get from him, giving the circumstances that I am still quite crazy about him. However, I don't really believe that is going to work as long as I have feelings of being more than just friends for him. Doesn't between close friends require more real attraction than between lovers? Friends spend time together because they want to, because they truly like each other... friends don't have sex... usually, so the big sex factor will not help.

Almost two weeks since he sent me that SMS, we are still keeping in touch. He tries to tell me that he likes me so much as a friend, and he doesn't want me to feel hurt. Yes, he's sweet, but I am blind, I only wish he could wants me more than a friend. I have tried everything to let myself given up on him. You know things like erase his messages, erase his phone number, erase his messenger ID, block him on my messenger. I only wish I was born with an erase button so now it's time to push that button.

I know eventually this will be fade out from my mind, I won't feel crazy about him anymore. It will be just another sad story. Things happen, this is life.

So what I think about him at the moment? I think I can remember the first night that we were spending the time together... We shared so much thought with each other, I thought, gee, I liked this soul, and the music was wonderful.

[ 本帖最后由 xblues 于 27-6-2008 19:51 编辑 ]

maaboo

“He wants us to be just friends”

That's the point
Is he a real GAY or not??

maaboo

强扭的瓜不甜。

ritaclin

love is just as fair as war...
虫虫为啥不发到英文版去？

maaboo

人家愿意发哪儿就发哪儿！
跟偶抢帖子！

ritaclin

分水

xblues

Yes, he's gay! I know it, he knows about it, and you should know it as well.   and he's very gay.

I think as long as I can speak out this feeling for him, then it's time for me to get over it. This is just life, for love, there's no the only one. There always so many, however, not many of the one eventually become the right one.

xblues

想发到英文版来者，怕人家把这个当成学术论文或者雅思作文.......而水文最适合的地方就是水区了。

langchu

可怜的虫虫

xblues

不可怜，生活中不如意的事情真的太多了，没关系，只要活着就有希望。这个不行，还有下一个。

ritaclin

写的很好，学术水
come on, lets water around

NEWGAY

lz又在这里诲淫诲盗哪

langchu

不许诋毁偶的虫虫！！

xblues

原帖由 maaboo 于 27-6-2008 09:14 发表

                               
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“He wants us to be just friends”

That's the point
Is he a real GAY or not??

  I think I mentioned SEX....hum, I was pretty much sure that he is gay.

xblues

原帖由 maaboo 于 27-6-2008 09:15 发表

                               
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强扭的瓜不甜。

局长，这个帖子在水区展示两天就沉了，到时候可否转到英语频道归档。

bark

安慰一下！

bark

虫虫，数日子吧。
日子越数越快，很快就会忘记他了。

maaboo

沉了的话就转过去。

maaboo

还有啊，
你们要是能处下去，但是你要是去了澳洲，他咋办？

xblues

如果相互喜欢的话，1天的爱情是爱情，1个月的爱情也是爱情。
如果可以长久相处的话，到澳洲飞机也不过是几小时。
我倒是觉得心才是最大的问题，因此我就只能放弃他了。

当然，他找了和局长同样的问题作借口。每个人考虑问题的方式不同，我是为了爱，什么都可以舍弃的那种不可救药行。

maaboo

看来他对你没感觉。

如果移民和爱情只能选一样，你选哪个？

Microhard

原帖由 maaboo 于 27-6-2008 17:42 发表

                               
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沉了的话就转过去。

那个“手”也转

xblues

我的观点是鱼和熊掌可以兼得。

但是如果只能选择一样，那我选择移民。移民是我已经计划好好几年的事情，是我自己的决定。而遇见他却是很偶然的事情。其实两件事情也不冲突。都什么年代了，飞机很方便的。澳洲身份进进出出更方便。

我需要一个澳洲身份，这样我可以选择回来，如果呆在中国，我是“不得不”呆在中国。

Between "Have to" and "Want to", there are so much difference. I like the later, cause with the later, I have a choice!

maaboo

你自己转过去吧。

maaboo

现在机票很贵……
呵呵。

xblues

He can come with me and get a new job.

xblues

I think it helps to speak it out.... as soon as I get it out of my mouth... I realized it has already gone. I have been a quite drama queen during those past days, however, this sweet little kid always there and talking to me. I know it helps.

I also know that every drama I was in was necessary. I fell into him very dramatically, or magically would be the word I want to use in this case. Therefore, I needed every drama to help me get out of this trap. It was sad but wonderful at the same time. I truly felt being alive and felt love all around from a piece of music, a drop of rain, a sound of word...

He called me today asked if I want to meet him on Sunday afternoon. I said yes, and I will try to be his friend.

[ 本帖最后由 xblues 于 27-6-2008 19:58 编辑 ]

ritaclin

原帖由 xblues 于 27-6-2008 17:33 发表

                               
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局长，这个帖子在水区展示两天就沉了，到时候可否转到英语频道归档。

拿俺们当档案室了
强烈要求再来档案室灌点新鲜的安慰我受伤的幼小心灵

ritaclin

patpat//
u know what, that happens a lot between boys&girls...
feeling is sometimes an incrediblly wierd thing
I mean, u'll be fine
chinglish says: do not hang yourself on one tree if it's not for u

flyday

IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME