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本帖最后由 wukong 于 23-9-2014 12:41 编辑
个人观点:
各家都有各家养孩子的习惯和家规(没有家规也是一种家规),没有什么可厚此薄彼,只要父母能达成一致,选择最适合自己家的方式和父母认为合理的方式就行。在养育孩子这件事儿上,没有任何人的意见能代替孩子父母的,孩子长成后会带有父母性格的痕迹其实是很正常自然和美好的事情。正所谓,龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞。有人说,孩子越小希望越大,把美好的愿望强加在孩子身上,不如修炼自己,让更多的闪光点去潜移默化的影响下一代。
下面的方法转自 babycenter 仅供参考
Seven ways to avoid spoiling your child
To raise a well-mannered, reasonable child, it's important to say "no" sometimes. Fortunately, there are simple steps you can take to nip any spoilt behaviour in the bud.
How can I set limits for my child?
It's really important for you to be clear about what is allowed and what's not. If you leave any wiggle-room then you set yourself up for arguments later on. A good example is when your child asks you for an unhealthy snack. See the difference between "OK, you can have a biscuit" and "You can have one biscuit, but don't ask me for any more. This is it." The first option doesn't rule out another biscuit. The second option lets your child know exactly where she stands.
How can I stick to those limits?
One really means one. It's easy to say no to more than one biscuit and then start questioning yourself: would another biscuit really hurt today? It’s important to think long-term, though. It's too hard for your child to understand why some days eating two or three biscuits is fine while at other times only one is allowed. It could lead to some major tantrums as she becomes frustrated with the lack of consistency. Make it easier for you both by sticking to a limit.
How can I handle my child begging?
Never give in to begging. The first time you give in to begging, you teach your child that it works. And the next time she sees something she wants and you say "no", you won't hear the end of it. She'll plead with you until you give in again. Ignoring begging from the start lets her know it’s a waste of time and will save you a lot of stress.
What if I'm not sure whether she should have something?
If your child asks for something and you're not sure whether to allow it, ask her to explain why she thinks it's a good idea. So if she really wants to watch a DVD and she explains that she's tidied all her toys, then you can feel more comfortable saying "yes".
Should I give my child chores to do?
By introducing your child to simple chores, she'll start to learn early lessons about taking responsibility. The key is to involve her with what you're doing, rather than setting her tasks to do alone. For example, when you're hanging the washing out, she'll probably love passing you the clothes from the basket. Reward her by thanking her and telling her how helpful she has been. You may find she volunteers to help with a quite a few jobs around the house!
How can I help her deal with disappointment?
It's natural to hate seeing your child upset, but in life disappointment is sometimes inevitable! By making her familiar with it through little things such as denying her a new doll when you're shopping, she'll develop important coping skills. These will become invaluable as she grows up.
How can I encourage her to earn her treats?
The easiest way to spoil your child is to give her everything she wants too easily. It's much better to give treats as a reward for good behaviour rather than "just because". So if your child is desperate for a new toy, you could set up a star chart and let her know how many stars she needs for you to buy it for her. Every time she's good, give her a star. She'll feel a real sense of achievement when she finally gets what she wants. And she won't take it for granted.
Last reviewed: April 2012
http://www.babycenter.com.au/a1049642/seven-ways-to-avoid-spoiling-your-child?scid=au_en_bulletin_all_baby#ixzz3E6JWjbaM
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