Helping by Not Helping (Much)
帮还是不帮，这是个问题。
The best way you can help your two-year-old achieve a healthy degree of independence is to stay out of his way—but at the same time, stay close enough to help when he really needs it. Here's what you can do:
帮助你的两岁宝宝学习自立的最好办法就是躲开他，不过同时，随时在他左右以便他真的需要你帮忙。这里有一些建议供参考：
Be patient! This is probably the most important guideline for parents of two-year-olds. Your child cannot possibly complete a "simple" task as easily as you can. But if you give your toddler the time and opportunity to learn through trial and error-with a few pointers from you—he will soon become competent and confident in a variety of skills.
要有耐心！对于两岁宝宝的父母，这可能是最重要的建议。你觉得很容易的事情，对你的宝宝可能不那么简单，不过你要是给他机会和时间去尝试失败，或许你可以在旁稍加指点，他会很快掌握多种能力和建立自信。
Leave extra time for everything. If you want your child to practice independent skills, it's not fair to hurry him through them. So get ready to leave ten or fifteen minutes—okay, half an hour—before you actually have to go anywhere.
留出充裕的时间。如果你想要宝宝锻炼自理能力，不要催促他。在出门之前，计划出10到15分钟，或者半个小时的富余。
If time becomes short, trade off tasks. "You put your socks on and I'll get your shoes on." Or perhaps, "You do that shoe, I'll do this one." Or, "You put your coat on, I'll zip it up."
如果时间实在紧，商量一个折中的办法，“你来穿袜子，我帮你穿鞋”，或者“你穿那只鞋，我帮你搞定这只”，再比如“你把衣服穿上，我帮你拉拉链”。
Empower your child. Try to come up with ways to increase your toddler's sense of competence, strength, ability, and power. You may, for instance, let your child decide where to hang his latest artwork (building his sense of pride and confidence). Or you may encourage him to move the chairs around to set up a play tent (building his sense of strength).
激励你的宝宝。找一些办法来让你的宝宝感觉到他的能力和权力。譬如，让他决定把他的画挂在哪里（培养自信）。或者鼓励他帮忙把椅子搬到帐篷那里（让他感到自己的力量）。
Rather than forcing, directing, or commanding your child to do what you want, gently steer him toward doing it. For instance, give your toddler some choices about what to do next. (Hint: If all the options you offer are things your child likes to do and things you want him to do, he—and you—can't lose no matter what he chooses to do first.)
你如果一定要宝宝做某些事，用引导鼓励代替命令和指令。譬如让你的宝宝决定做事的先后。（提示：如果事情都是你想要他做并且是他喜欢做的，先后顺序有什么要紧呢？）
If your child can do it, let him do it. Your toddler's various skills only will improve if he gets a chance to use them. And the more practice you give your child, the faster he will master a task. So after your child can put on his jacket, let him do it most of the time. Not only will he become more and more skilled, but you will have less and less to do yourself.
如果你的宝宝做得到，就让他去做。只有放他去尝试，他的能力才能提高。练习的越多，他掌握的就越快。所以如果你的宝宝能穿夹克了，尽量让他去做。宝宝能做的越多，你需要做的就越少。
Intervene only if your child becomes frustrated or asks for help. Avoid the temptation to take over just because you think your toddler has been trying long enough. If he's still trying and is not tearing his hair out, then he is still confident that he can complete the task. If you lose patience and do it for him, you will undermine your two-year-old's confidence and transform everything he's done up to now into wasted effort.
轻易不要干涉，除非你的宝宝感到受挫或者请求你帮助。不要因为你认为宝宝已经尝试了太长时间而试图干预。如果他仍在尝试，而不是焦躁不安，说明他仍然有信心完成他的任务。如果这时你失去耐心帮他做了，实际上你损伤了他的自信，使得他的一切努力都化为乌有。
Remember your child is only two. Although your child is much more independent than a one-year-old, he is by no means fully independent. Expect your child to go through spells of clinging and anxiety, though they may occur less often and be less pronounced than they were in the first year of toddlerhood. So give your child the attention and help that he does want. Your independent-minded toddler wouldn't ask for it if he didn't really need it.
不要忘了他只有两岁，虽然你的宝宝已经比周岁时自立多了，可是仍然差得远。依赖和焦虑是很正常的，虽然没有头一年那么频繁和显著。当他需要的时候，给予他足够的关注。对于这个年纪相对自立的宝宝来说，如果不是很必要，他是不会像你求助的。
Praise the effort. It's not easy for your two-year-old to do things himself. So even if he doesn't quite succeed, reward your child with praise and encouragement. If your child comes close to succeeding at the task—maybe he buttoned his coat, but missed a button—don't redo it. There's really no reason he needs to do everything perfectly when he's just learning.
Don't pressure your child. If you nag or harass him, he will resist doing it at all. That's another way your child can assert his independence.
鼓励他的付出。作为两周岁的宝宝，独立处理事情不是那么容易。所以即使他做的不那么好，也要给予适当的奖励和鼓舞。如果你的宝宝基本能完成他的工作，譬如扣扣子，不小心少扣一个，不要帮他修正。在这个学习的阶段，没有必要把每一件事都做得完美。不要给他过大的压力，如果你批评责怪他，他很可能再也不尝试了。这同样是他表达自己独立性的一种方式。
Q-tip
Here's a good trick for toddlers. Lay your child's coat on the floor. Have her stand at the neck or hood of the coat (so that it's upside down from her perspective). If your child then sticks her arms in the sleeves and flips the coat over her head, it will be on. Most toddlers find this trick enchanting proof that they are big kids now.
小窍门：把宝宝的衣服铺在地板上，让她站在领口一端（在她看来衣服是倒着摆放的）。如果你让宝宝把胳膊伸进两只袖子里，然后把衣服从她头上翻过，就穿身上了。多数宝宝会因为这个“魔术”感觉自己是大宝宝了。 |
发表于 25-11-2013 21:26:14
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