Back from Austria

melguy

上个月从奥地利萨尔斯堡回来，今晚忽然有感写了一小段E文，欢迎拍砖。
图片的链接在我爱摄影版，http://www.freeoz.org/bbs/thread-860645-1-1.html

Back from Austria last month after a conference in Salzburg, it is been a long time since the last trip to France, I miss the old buildings, stone paved roads and arts.

I was wandering in the old city alone the river, exploring pubs and restaurants, took the tour to eagles nest, up to the Hohensalzburg castle, walking along the river, listening Mozart and eat Sacher-Torte.

The weather was perfect, a bit chill in the morning and evening, warm through out the day. Walking through Mirabell garten in the early morning, the scene from The Sound of Music comes back, seems Maria and the children were seen dancing around the statue of Pegasus, the winged horse, and throughout the gardens singing "Do-re-mi"

I like the family houses, light colored walls, dark colored roofs, flowers under the windows and balconies, with the greenish mountain background - perfect.

How lucky we can still see the city like it has been intact from the worn of history, the stone paved narrow roads, solid building standing next to each other, old timber doors and cast iron windows, oh, I love it.

I will be back, maybe not the same place, but I will explore, like always.

[ 本帖最后由 melguy 于 21-10-2009 11:07 编辑 ]

jessi

moroker

因为没看懂，拍之

stiou

easoncn

Dear Melguy,

I have to point out some mistakes in your article and correct for you. You were trying to express your feeling in the way of a poem. But unfortunately, you need to pay attention to the grammar and logic. Just some personal advice. Please don't take seriously.


Back from Austria last month after a conference in Salzburg, it is been a long time since the last trip to France, I miss the old buildings, stone paved roads and arts.
It has been a long time since my last trip to France. I still miss the old buildings, stone paved roads and arts after coming back from Austria for a conference in Salzburg last month.

I was wandering in the old city alone the river, exploring pubs and restaurants, took the tour to eagles nest, up to the Hohensalzburg castle, walking alone the river, listening Mozart and eat Sacher-Torte.
I wandered in the old city alone the river, listening to Mozart and eating Sacher-Torte. I explored pubs and restaurants, taking tour to eagles nest, up to the Hohensalzburg castle.

The weather was perfect, a bit chill in the morning and evening, warm through out the day. Walking through Mirabell garten in the early morning, the scene from The Sound of Music comes back, seems Maria and the children were seen dancing around the statue of Pegasus, the winged horse, and throughout the gardens singing "Do-re-mi"
It was perfect weather, a bit chill in the morning and evening but warm through out the day. Walking through Mirabell garten in the early morning reminded me the scene from "The Sound of Music". I could even see Maria and the children dancing around the status of Pegasus, the winged horse and throughout the gardens, singing "Do-re-mi."

I like the family houses, light colored walls, dark colored roofs, flowers under the windows and balconies, with the greenish mountain background - perfect.
Family houses, light colored walls, dar colored roofs, flowers under the windows and balconies, all the scene backgrounded with the greenish mountain looked just perfect.

How lucky we can still see the city like it has been intact from the worn of history, the stone paved narrow roads, solid building standing next to each other, old timber doors and cast iron windows, oh, I love it.
How lucky we are to see the city intact from the worn of history. The narrow stone paved roads went through the solid buidings standing next to each other. The old timber doors and cast iron windows were just the same as they had been during the war. Oh, I love this feeling.


I will be back, maybe not the same place, but I will explore, like always.
I will come back, perhaps not to the same places. But I will explore, as always.

Jack_Chow

It is very stiff and monotonous in red.

auphil

wow.. bit harsh, as the whole E 文 has been rewritten, in a way, i think the author has expressed his view queit well, with his perosnal touch.. I guess that is the way he will tell his friends in a normal conversation. This is not an essay, and does not need to pay much attention on the correctness of the gramma.. that my two cents worth.

采薇子

I agree with you !
Melguy's expression is very true and natural. I'm affected by the words.
It is something of feeling more than grammar, right?  
But thanks for easoncn's kind sharing as well~

PS.:
"I was wandering in the old city alone the river......"  
It should be "along the river", right?  I think it may be only a slip.  
  ^_^    Never mind!

easoncn

Of course, I can't create a new way to express the original feeling of the author. And I admitted that the re-written part is stiff as I didn't have any feeling as Melguy had. The only purpose I posted the red part is to encourage a right way to express his true feeling in English, not to show off, but to share.

melguy

Agree and thanks again.
I like the writing in your blog, they are very nice.
#7 & #8 are right, that is the way I am going to tell my friends, so more informal.

[ 本帖最后由 melguy 于 21-10-2009 11:15 编辑 ]

auphil

原帖由 easoncn 于 19-10-2009 23:45 发表

                               
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Of course, I can't create a new way to express the original feeling of the author. And I admitted that the re-written part is stiff as I didn't have any feeling as Melguy had. The only purpose I poste ...

I was only expressing an opinion from a different point of view. It is never intended to say you shouldn’t rewrite the work. It is never intended to say you are showing off. In fact, I can see Melguy acknowledged and appreciated your effort by giving you two thumb up...  

stunner

收益非浅！
顺便问下，上面这句咋翻？