英文笑话:Things that only mom can teach~~~mother's day

nizi

Joke:Things that only mom can teach

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...　"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

10. My Mother taught me about SEX.... "How do you think you got here?"

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your father."

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like."

MacroJ

毛桩桩

One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like.

cello

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then, he said with a deep sigh, . . .


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'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

naughtybaby

....corn flakes...