作文求批改

dindin0497

请大家帮忙看看我写的这篇作文有什么问题,能得几分, 谢谢!

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of and individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

It’s a controversial issue that whether the motivation and circumstances should be taken into consideration when punishing the crime. Although fixed punishments for each type of crimes can make the judge result more justify, but I still think that the reason for crimes is the root cause of crimes and it should not be ignored by the judge.

Convincing arguments can be mad that the crime motivation and circumstances play a pivotal role in committing the crime. To start with the people live in poverty may break the law due to economic reason. That’s possible when they can’t get enough money to afford their cost of living and have to commit the crime. As I see it everyone deserves the right to living and if this right can’t be guaranteed then nobody can stay in calm. On the other hand the affluent people may commit the crime just for the sake of more money and this definitely can’t be the reason to decrease the punishment. As they aren’t driven by the right to living, but by the money-worshipping.

Admittedly, there are advantages in using fixed punishment. As all the punishment already published and it’s easy to judge the criminals no matter they are wealthy or not, therefore every criminal can be judged equally and no corruption in the judge.

In summary, I would concede that the motivation and the circumstances should be taken into account by the judge. Despite that fixed punishment can bring about some advantages, but I believe that an enlightened society will take motivation into consideration. The government would be well advised to investigate the motivation of crimes and try to decrease the circumstances of crimes, then the crimes can be eliminated.

nil

you can't punish the crime.  You can be punished for a certain crime.

although...but...???This is Chinese.

dindin0497

thanks

pinxinge

"despite .... but..."?
"right to living" should be "right of living" or "right to live"?

pinxinge

I've heard from someone that if you want to get a higher score, you need add some kind of word in your article. Any ideas about that?