趣味IT

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 22:36:18

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/*-------------------------------------------
趣味UNIX命令
翻译 2002 王咏刚 http://www.contextfree.net/
来自 David G. Wiseman http://www.csd.uwo.ca/staff/magi/
personal/humour/Computer_Audience.html
-------------------------------------------*/
这是一组有趣的UNIX命令。Shell环境是csh或sh，提示符是%，在大部分Unix/Linux系统上可以得到下面这些有趣甚至爆笑的输出结果：
% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% ar t God
ar: God does not exist

% ar r God
ar: creating God

% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change operation go?
^Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow%
blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 22:47:46

Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many <insert profession here> were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 22:57:08

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 22:59:06

Q) Why didn't the clumsy java programmer want to work with C?

A) Becaue he heard the C was sharp!

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:01:11

Two geeks are talking over lunch.

The first guy(chubbycat) says "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' ... So I took the bike"

The second guy(ubuntuhk) says "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:03:21

A project manager, hardware engineer and software engineer were in a car heading down a hill when the brakes failed. The driver managed to get it stopped by using the gears and a convenient dirt track.

All three jumped out and after peering under the car

the hardware engineer said, "I see what the problem is and with this handy roll of duct tape I think I can fix it good enough to get us to the next town".

The project manager quickly interrupted, "No, no, no. Before we do anything we need to decide on a vision for our future, figure out a plan and assign individual deliverables".

At which point the software engineer said, "You know what, I think we should push the car back up to the top of the hill and see if it happens again".

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:07:33

UNIX Sex
{
look; find; talk; grep; touch; finger; find; flex; unzip; mount; workbone; fsck; yes; gasp; fsck; yes; eject; umount; makeclean; zip; split; done; exit
}

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:10:55

"The last 10% of any software project will take 90% of the budgeted time.

The first 90% will take the other 90%"

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:11:38

Computers are high-speed idiots, programmed by low-speed idiots

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:12:56

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is. (don't know where this is from)

coredump · 发表于 24-9-2008 23:15:17

"The key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy."
-- Koenig/Moo, Accelerated C++

chubbycat · 发表于 25-9-2008 00:16:26

chubbycat · 发表于 25-9-2008 00:17:04

# dump core
bad key 'c'

chubbycat · 发表于 25-9-2008 00:17:30

# core dump
sh: core: not found.

chubbycat · 发表于 25-9-2008 00:18:13

# man coredump
No manual entry for coredump.

coredump · 发表于 25-9-2008 14:58:44

~$ killall chubbycat
chubbycat: no process killed

chubbycat · 发表于 25-9-2008 23:29:40

# fuser -ck /coredump
/coredump: fuser: could not find file system mounted at /coredump.

coredump · 发表于 25-9-2008 23:34:49

$ cut chubbycat
cut: you must specify a list of bytes, characters, or fields

chubbycat · 发表于 26-9-2008 00:42:56

原帖由 coredump 于 25-9-2008 22:34 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

$ cut chubbycat
cut: you must specify a list of bytes, characters, or fields

cuz you're not root

chubbycat · 发表于 26-9-2008 01:10:57

# echo "Kick coredump fat ass"
Kick coredump fat ass

coredump · 发表于 26-9-2008 01:21:30

原帖由 chubbycat 于 26-9-2008 00:10 发表

 登录/注册后可看大图

# echo "Kick coredump fat ass"
Kick coredump fat ass

you are rascally

chubbycat · 发表于 26-9-2008 02:34:34

coredump · 发表于 6-10-2008 02:29:21

$ which chubbycat
which: no chubbycat in (/usr/bin:/freeoz)

coredump · 发表于 6-10-2008 02:33:24

$ zoo -add cats chubbycat
Zoo: ERROR: Could not open chubbycat.

chubbycat · 发表于 6-10-2008 02:49:19

# whereis coredump
coredump:

coredump · 发表于 6-10-2008 03:06:48

$touch chubbycat

$less chubbycat

chubbycat (END)

chubbycat · 发表于 6-10-2008 03:17:12

# kill coredump
sh: coredump: Specify a process identifier or a %job number.

flyday · 发表于 8-10-2008 22:33:25

#cls chubbycat

#

chubbycat · 发表于 8-10-2008 22:58:23

what's cls?

flyday · 发表于 9-10-2008 02:20:18

Many newer Unix systems and Unix variants will also accept the cls command or have cls as an alias for clear.

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