我们的谈话开始于:你是来自于东南亚的么?我有一个印尼朋友和你长得差不多。我说可能是澳洲阳光太强烈的缘故,我来了以后特别黑。彼此都比较随和,谈话进展的很快。谈到我还没怎么在澳洲各处旅游,他说:我应该带你去兜风。连续重复里两遍,我想这个聋子也听出来什么意思了。除了大家都隐隐感觉到的喜欢之外,也有一种同为天涯沦落人的味道。我说:Is it okay if I ask you why did you come to Australia? 他说: The freedom of nobody cares what I do. 谈话至此,我想大家心里都有点猜测对方是不是同志,不过没有任何一个人点破这一点。不知不觉谈话变得很私人,他连忙道歉:I am sorry, I am not suppose to talk to you...but I like I feel like you are a very nice guy...
整个周末没有消息,周一晚上短信来了:How are you? What are you doing? 电话那头是一种懒洋洋的语气。一定要越周五晚上去他家吃饭。我想这个意思傻子也明白,我不是傻子,说可不可以改白天?10分钟过后,还是在讨价还价,最后还是我说出了 Casual Sex这个字眼。看来他的压力十分大,已经选择了一个新的国家,却仍然不能够选择一种新的生活,一个彻彻底底藏在柜子里的男人。他说: I am not looking for relationship or a boyfriend, but I like you a lot, I thought maybe we could have some fun. 我说的则比较直接: I do like you, but I am looking for many things but casual sex.
我想他要的也仅仅就是 some fun,不错,和他通话的时候,我也能够感觉到自己的冲动,不过 casual sex has never been what I am after. 一次见面,两个短信,一个电话,我们走完了相见到再见的整个过程,我们相互喜欢,都有冲动,可是各自要的却是不同的东西。好吧,这件事结束了,不过我还是有一点淡淡的伤感。
I know what I want, but I often have doubts...however, I am sticking with what I want so far and they that's what make you feel good at the end of the day.