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[原创交流] 女儿改写的《哈里波特》

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1#
发表于 19-1-2021 10:37:25 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

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我也记不清女儿把《哈里波特》全套看了多少遍,也记不清她什么时候要开始改写这本书的了。

刚开始读的时候,我并不是很吃惊,毕竟,9岁虽然小了一点,但是按照这边的英语阅读水平,写一点东西并不难。

我觉得最有意思的是,她添加的两个主角里,Esmi几乎就是自己的样子,所以,我开始仔细读,希望对女儿的内心世界有更多的了解。

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2#
 楼主| 发表于 19-1-2021 10:38:18 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 欧阳京 于 21-1-2021 13:52 编辑

  twist- Esmerelda Erendello

It was a quiet afternoon in Woodcrest Lane. All they could hear was the sound of music, in house 47. 



I'll be riding shotgun underneath the hot sun
Feeling like a someone (someone)
I'll be riding shotgun underneath the hot sun
Feeling like a someone

We're south of the Equator, navigat-



Click!

Esmerelda Erendello switched the music off. She walked to the curtains and wrenched them open. “Urgh” she groaned. Way too bright. She closed it a lot. Way too dim. She opened it a teensy tiny bit. erfect. DUM DUM DUM. 

“Esmi?” called out her mother.

“Wha- aat?”

“It’s afternoon tea, honey.”

“Not hungry” grumbled Esmerelda.

“It’s apple pie with a side of ice cream.” Replied her mother.

Eeeeeeeek. The door opened. Esmerelda raced down the stairs and saw her older brother, James. He looked at her. Then he put on his sunglasses. “Ew, gross.” he says.

“What do you see?” asked Esmerelda, looking at him.

“You.” He replied smugly.

“Very funny.” Said Esmerelda, sarcastically.



Honestly, he is sooooo annoying. And plus, I’m turning 11 tomorrow, and he’s 13. Hmph!  Esmerelda Erendello was a young witch in training, with surprising golden locks. She had also put in some blue highlights, to make her look cool. She had an amazing talent for remembering things, which is why it made her one of the smartest girls in her school, Willow Primary School for girls. She had never seen a boy that was her age. Ever. Her best friends were Sophie Miyamizu and Charlotte Woodhouse. Her arch-enemy was Diana Siu. She, is the most popular girl in school. And the smuggest. And the meanest. She is so stuck on herself! In fact, she is so vain, I heard the gossip girls, Wendy Min and Rosa Orchid, say that she wears lip gloss every day. I mean like we are in PRIMARY SCHOOL. Who wears make-up in primary school?! A total weirdo! Our spells were really good but maybe we could improve-

BEEP!

Her friend Sophie sent her a text.

Hey how r u?



                    Great thanks

Since u cant have a party im going to drop off a present ok?

                            Aw thx! 

So will charlotte k?

                            Ok!

Oops I gotta go, cya!



She turned off her phone. She looked outside. The sun was setting.

She checked the time. 7:09 PM. It must be daylight saving. Her mother was on the phone. She hanged up. “Esmi..” she said, with a grim look on her face. “Did you attack Diana Siu?” 

“N-no…” Esmerelda said in a small voice. She remembered when she sent a flock of birds at Diana.

“Sweetie, her dad is the principle. And he…he…” her mum began.

No! No… No!!

“Has expelled you from Willow Primary School for Witches.”

“NO!!!!!!!!” she cried. She choked on tears. Esmerelda could hear the crickets chirping in a chorus now. She went up to her room and burst into tears. 



The next day…

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3#
 楼主| 发表于 19-1-2021 16:12:47 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 欧阳京 于 21-1-2021 13:51 编辑

The next day…


Her mum came into the room. “We are moving to Britain.” She announced. Esmerelda was too devastated to say anything. All her friends liked Diana, and now hated Esmi. Her mother magically packed everything in her room. “We have to use the plane.” She says.

The family left for the airport.



On the plane, Esmerelda asked her mother: “What school am I going to?”

“Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry” she replied.

“Will there be no-majs?”

“Yes of course, but make sure to call them muggles, like they do in London.” Said her mother. “Have you heard of he who must not be named?”

“No.”

“Well Harry Potter, the child who defeated him, is going to Hogwarts too!” she said happily.



It was the 27th of august when they arrived at Diagon Alley. 

Her mother already had a list of what they needed to buy.

Esmerelda examined the big fat golden coins. She compared it with money from New York. “Interesting” she said. “Mother, does school start on September the 1st?” 

“Yes, now let’s go to Ollivanders.” Said her mother.

As they walked, Esmerelda glanced at the new nimbus 2000.

She also saw Harry Potter. With that half-giant guy. She waited at the counter of Ollivanders. “Hello?” she said. It echoed across the room. Hello? Hello? Hello? 

“Hello.” Said a voice. Esmerelda jumped. 

“Wha-” she began.

“Are you looking for a wand?” he asked, even though he knew exactly why she was here.

“Yes, duh.” Said Esmerelda, impolitely.

Ollivander looked at the shelves, and took a box from it.

“Try this.” Said Ollivander. “Are you muggle-born?” he added.

“What’s a muggle?” she asked.

“Non-Magic folk” he replied.

“Isn’t that a No-Maj?” 

“You must be from NYC!” he exclaimed.

Esmerelda gave the wand a wave.

CRASH!

A nearby chandelier exploded.

“No, no, definitely not!” he cried.

He passed her another wand.

Esmerelda waved it. 300 books fell out from the shelf.

“No, not that either” said Ollivander.

He passed a wand to Esmerelda.

She gave the wand a wave, looking bored.

A golden light came out of her heart. She looked shocked. 

“Ah…yes!” he said.

“Does that mean I can buy this one?”

“Yes, 11cm, unicorn hair, made from holly.” Said the man. “7 galleons please.” Esmerelda handed the big fat coins and walked to Madam Malkins. After paying for all clothing, she strolled Potage’s Cauldron Shop, where she bought a size 2, pewter cauldron. 

“Mother?” she said.

“Yes Esmi?” her mother replied.

“Could I please, please, ple-aseee get an owl?” she begged.

“Oh alright.” Esmerelda bought a beautiful snowy owl, and named it Frostine. She bought all her books, and returned to her new home.

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4#
发表于 20-1-2021 19:35:04 | 只看该作者
哇,你女儿好棒

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5#
 楼主| 发表于 21-1-2021 12:46:19 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 欧阳京 于 21-1-2021 13:51 编辑

On September the 1st. 10:17am

Esmerelda was pushing a trolly with her trunk and Frostine.

“We are early, aren’t we mother?” she asked.

“Yes, according to the ticket, you have to walk through the barrier between 9 and 10.” Her mother said.

“That’s absurd.” Exclaimed Esmi.

“It opens at 10:45am”

Esmerelda walked to a vending machine to get herself some SMITHS chips (vinegar flavour was her favourite).

10:46am

“Yay! Lets go!” said Esmerelda.

She started running at the barrier. “WHEEEEEEEEE!” she cried. As she went through the wall, she bumped into a boy with a lightning scar.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! Let me help you up.” She sticked out her hand. “Hey, aren’t you Harry Potter?” she exclaimed. 

“Yes, I am. Who are you?” Harry replied politely.

“Esmerelda Erendello.” Replied Esmerelda. 

HOOOOOOOOONK!

Harry disappeared into the crowd. Esmerelda walked into the train, and looked for a place to sit. “Excuse me” she began, to a bunch of girls that were giggling, with one spot left. 

“Taken” said the girl with blonde hair, without letting her finish.

Esmerelda was quite taken aback. She walked down again. Oh! It’s Harry! With a red-headed boy! “Uhm…may I sit here?” Esmerelda asked, dreading the answer. 

“Sure,” said the red-headed boy. “I’m Ronald Weasley.” 

“This is Esmerelda, she bumped into me earlier.” Harry said.

She looked around, as she spotted a rat. “AHHH! A RAT!” she shrieked. 

“Calm down. This is my rat, Scabbers. He is pathetic really.” Said Ron. 

“Anything from the trolley?” the Trolley Witch asked.

“Drooble’s best blowing gum…and 2 chocolate frogs.” Esmerelda said.

“We’ll take the lot!” said Harry, taking out about 11 Sickles and 7 Knuts.

“Woah” said Ron.

Hungry, are you?"

"Starving," said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty.

The group all snacked on sweets.

A lumpy boy walked in. 

“Have you seen my toad, Trevor?” he asked nervously.

“Nope,” Esmi said.

“I’ve lost him!!” he wailed.

“Gee if I had a toad as a pet, I’d lose it first chance” whispered Ron.

I giggled. “Fred and George, my twin brothers gave me a spell to turn Scabbers yellow. Want to see?”

“Yes!” Esmerelda and Harry said.

“Okay. Sun-”

A girl with bushy hair walked in.

“Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost his.” She said. 

“No, we already told him” They chorused.

“Holy cricket!” the girl exclaimed. “Your Harry Potter! I’m Hermione Granger, and you two are…?” 

“Ronald Weasley” 

“Pleasure.” “What about you?” she indicated Esmerelda.

“Esmerelda Erendello.”

“I do hope we can be friends!” Hermione looked at Ron’s wand in midair. “Oooh, are you doing magic? Let’s see then.” She tilted her head. Ron looked embarrassed. 

“Okay. Sunshine Daisies.” Hermione stared at him. He continued: “Butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!”

“Are you sure that’s a real spell?” Esmerelda and Hermione said together. “Well, it’s not very good, is it?” said Hermione.

“I have only done a few simple spells myself, but they’ve all worked for me.” Ron stared, puzzled at Harry. 

“For example, Oculus Reparo.” she said, pointing her wand at Harry. “That’s better isn’t it?” she asked Harry. 

“Yeah. Loads better.” He replied.

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6#
 楼主| 发表于 21-1-2021 12:50:24 | 只看该作者

A different perspective of the story: Astra


It was dark and quiet as normal in the Howling Ally.

Astra Lestrange groaned. When will training finish...? Her muscles felt soft. She didn’t know why she had to be a death eater. But something she knows for sure is that she didn’t want to be a death eater.  

At that moment her mother came in. “Brush your teeth now. Tomorrow you will be going to the school your cousin is going to, Hogwarts.” she said simply, her voice was always harsh and loud. With that, she left the room, leaving Astra alone but excited. Yes! I’m finally going to Hogwarts! With all that excitement, she did a happy twirl. I hope I can make lots of friends!



Astra was turning 11 tomorrow and she is a young witch in training like her family. Her family is full of death eaters, but she didn’t want to be the same as them. She was quite smart. Very smart to be exact. She doesn’t have any friends, but she doesn’t mind. Astra would like a companion though. She couldn’t even get friends if she tried, but that’s what’s going to change. Or at least she thought. It would be hard not to get friends in a school full of magical people. Astra looked at her wand again, Made of hazel, 11 inches and dragon heartstring. Her mother bought her a beautiful dress and a magical quill that had golden glitter on it. She tapped her special quill on the table. Tomorrow, was September the 1st. The start of school!

Her mother had told her some pureblood witches had skills. Her skill was Legilimency, to read thoughts at will. But sometimes, she hears embarrassing thoughts without thinking, which makes it annoying. She doesn’t spread rumours though.
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