随着年龄的增长，我们越来越少用“兴奋”“刺激”来描述快乐，而是越来越多地使用“平静”这样的字眼。可敬的维罗妮卡·高因兹这样总结道：“平静是休息时的快乐，快乐是行走时的平静。”和别人分享好事也能让你接下来的几天心情大好。用香农·塞奇威克·戴维斯的话说就是，人权倡导者的工作需要他们每天面对暴行，所以“快乐成了一种修炼”持愉快的好习惯。
Playing music at the edge of our capabilities is what psychologist call a “just manageable difficulty” . It requires all of our attention, giving us no room to think about anything else.
Exercise is also another form of flow, working out may even be as effective as talking an anti-depressant. 演奏音乐这类事情需要我们全神贯注，没有精力产生杂念。很多人都能回想起心流状态带来的极乐感受——心流状态就是全身心沉浸在所做的事情中的状态。心流研究先驱者米哈里·契克森米哈赖发现，处于心流状态中的人并不感到快乐，他们过于投入，只是在事后会认为当时是快乐的。
无论你把快乐看成一种修炼、一种挑战、一种奢侈，抑或是必需品，它都是每个人值得拥有的东西。有了快乐，我们可以继续生活，继续爱，继续为他人而存在。即使我们感到非常痛苦，在我们已有和创造的时光中依然可以发现快乐——跳舞、远足、祈祷、开车、跑着调地唱比利·乔尔的歌。所有这些都能帮助我们减轻痛苦，当这些时光累积起来，我们就会发现它们不仅能给予我们快乐，还能给予我们力量。
2021年5月18日
Chapter 7 Raising resilient children 培养坚韧的孩子们
We all want to raise resilient kids so they can overcome obstacles big and small. Resilience leads to greater happiness, more success, and better health. Resilience is not a fixed personality trait, it’s a lifelong project.
Don’t make a false promise that you could live forever, but rather explain to them that it was very unusually for someone to die so young. Mostly, to say over and over that you loved them and we would get through this together.
We can start by helping children develop four core beliefs: 1)they have some control over their lives, 2)they can learn from failure, 3)they matter as human beings, 4)and they have real strengths to rely on and share. 培养韧性取决于孩子所拥有的机会和他们与父母、照料者、教师、朋友之间的关系。我们可以从帮助孩子形成4个核心理念开始：（1）他们对自己的生活具有一些掌控力；（2）他们能够从失败中学习；（3）作为人类，他们的存在很重要；（4）他们具有可依赖、可分享的真正的优势