My Place
去年，坛子里的宋雨航推荐了一本书，my place. 今年国内访问论坛中断了一阵子，而她今年似乎也很久没有来了。说回这本书，读此书时我真是没有想到今年这么轰轰烈烈的运动中，我能更理解就是基于这本书。不得不说，作者非常会讲故事，把“家事”读得有种悬疑感。
书的一开始，就是母女俩的对话：
‘Can’t you just leave the past buried? It won’t hurt anyone then.’
‘Mum, it’s already hurt people. It’s hurt you and me and Nan, all of us …’
埋葬过去，因此它不会再伤害任何人? 但是它已经伤害了我们！
My Place 从50后作者自己视角开始讲起，她的父亲是名白人，参加过战争后，无法疗愈战争创伤，最后自杀了。而童年时代，她和母亲经常去医院里探访父亲。
五六十年代的Perth. 感觉有点象我们国家的《人生》？ 感觉是一幅down to earth的画卷慢慢展开。从自己上学，遇到的老师，遇到的老师，同学。
她开始慢慢的找寻自己的过去，然后mother 和grandmother 却告诉自己祖上是从印度来的。直到作者15岁的时候，一场家庭风波后，她才知道自己并不是来自印度的，而是：
‘Mum said we’re Indian.’
‘Look at Nan, does she look Indian?’
‘I’ve never really thought about how she looks. Maybe she comes from some Indian tribe we don’t know about.’
‘Ha! That’ll be the day! You know what we are, don’t you?’
‘No, what?’
‘Boongs, we’re boongs!’ I could see Jill was unhappy with the idea.
It took a few minutes before I summoned up enough courage to say, ‘What’s a boong?’
‘A boong. You know, Aboriginal. God, of all things, we’re Aboriginal!’
‘Oh.’ I suddenly understood. There was a great deal of social stigma attached to being Aboriginal at our school.
‘I can’t believe you’ve never heard the word boong,’ she muttered in disgust. ‘Haven’t you ever listened to the kids at school? If they want to run you down, they say, “Aah, ya just a boong.” Honestly, Sally, you live the whole of your life in a daze!’
日子一天天过去，作者一天天长大，母亲好象知之甚少，Nan一如既往地不愿意触及过去。要求forget the past. 但此时，转机来了。姥姥唯一的兄弟Arthur来看姥姥时，说自己愿意说。舅姥爷的故事，更是令人觉得惊心动魄。过去曾经类似奴隶，被打，逃跑，慢慢run自己的农场……
全书的50%-60%讲的都是Arthur的画卷。
Arthur认为：“Take the white people in Australia, they brought the religion here with them and the Commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal, and yet they stole this country. They took it from the innocent. You see, they twisted the religion. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”
而不久舅姥爷阖然而逝。下一章的标题是：Where to next?
母亲流泪读完舅姥爷的故事：
‘It’s a wonderful story.’ Mum had tears in her eyes when she finished reading Arthur’s story.
而此时，她们更加感觉到对Nan她们是知之甚少。于是下一步便是如何ease Nan's tongue. 于是她们决定回一趟Nan的出生地。进一步探究自己的来处。
After much thought, I decided that our best course was to return to Nan and Arthur’s birthplace, Corunna Downs.
回到Perth后，母亲Glady愿意讲出自己的故事。父亲的精神问题，与母亲的遇见。母亲小时候，姥姥是某户白人的厨师，很小就在类似于监狱的学校中长大，孤独院里有小朋友生病离开人世，也有象她一样，只有非常少的时间才能见到自己母亲的孩子。最令人悲伤的一幕莫过于，有一次学校组织去zoo, 回去的船上，她见到了自己的母亲：
We all settled down on the ferry and were soon chugging back across the Swan River. I had a seat right up near the water and I watched as the ripples came out from under the boat and slowly faded away.
Then I noticed another ferry coming across from the other side, so I leaned over to look to see how close it was going to come to our boat. To my surprise, I saw my mother sitting on the ferry, as pretty as ever in her blue suit. I couldn’t believe it. I called out to her, I shouted and waved my arms. She must have known I was going to the zoo, I thought, but she’s got the wrong time, she’s going to miss me. She might go to see me at the zoo and I won’t be there. I jumped up and down and called and called. My mother sat upright on the ferry, she never even turned her head in my direction.
Within minutes, our boats had passed, and I realised she hadn’t heard me calling.
I sat back on the wooden seat and slumped into a corner. The other kids just looked at me, they never said anything. I forgot all about the elephants and bears and lions. All I could think about was my mother. The sadness inside me was so great I couldn’t even cry.
母亲使得过去一切明朗了一半，但姥姥依然不愿意开口，她说自己的一切只属于自己。
期间又经过很多事情，全书的90%时，Nan终于愿意讲述自己的故事了。
Every morning, they woke us up with a bell. It was only ’bout five o’clock, could have been earlier. We all slept down in the camp, a good way from the main house. Every morning, someone would light a lamp, walk down into the gully and ring a bell. When I was very little, I used to get frightened. I thought it was the devil-devil come to get me。
一副生离死别的画面，Nan甚至记不清自己具体何时出生，自己大约十四五风的时候从的母亲身边离开，以受教育为名。
They told my mother I was goin’ to get educated. They told all the people I was goin’ to school. I thought it’d be good, goin’ to school. I thought I’d be somebody real important. My mother wanted me to learn to read and write like white people. Then she wanted me to come back and teach her. There was a lot of the older people interested in learnin’ how to read and write then.
Why did they tell my mother that lie? Why do white people tell so many lies? I got nothin’ out of their promises. My mother wouldn’t have let me go just to work. God will make them pay for their lies. He’s got people like that under the whip. They should have told my mother the truth. She thought I was coming back.
When I left, I was cryin’, all the people were cryin’, my mother was cryin’ and beatin’ her head. Lily was cryin’. I called, ‘Mum, Mum, Mum!’ She said, ‘Don’t forget me, Talahue!’
They all thought I was coming back. I thought I’d only be gone a little while. I could hear their wailing for miles and miles. ‘Talahue! Talahue!’ They were singin’ out my name, over and over. I couldn’t stop cryin’. I kept callin’, ‘Mum! Mum!’
然后被卖给人家。做家事。
最后Nan说道，“I been scared all my life, too scared to speak out. Maybe if you’d have had my life, you’d be scared, too.”
Do you think we’ll get some respect? I like to think the black man will get treated same as the white man one day. Be good, wouldn’t it? By gee, it’d be good.
Nan的故事读完了，她不愿意讲的依然要自己带走。
When Nan finished telling me her story, I was filled with conflicting emotions. I was happy for her because she felt she’d achieved something. It meant so much to be able to talk and to be believed. But I was sad for myself and my mother. Sad for all the things Nan felt she couldn’t share.
the birds call ，最后一章，是Nan的离开。
My phone rang at seven that same morning.
‘Sally? It’s Ruth. Nan died twenty minutes ago. It was very peaceful.’
‘Thanks,’ I whispered.
I slowly replaced the receiver. I felt stiff. I couldn’t move. Tears suddenly flooded my cheeks. For some reason, Jill’s words from the previous day began echoing inside of me. I heard the bird call, I heard the bird call. Around and around.
‘Oh, Nan,’ I cried with sudden certainty, ‘I heard it, too. In my heart, I heard it.’
============
从开始的象detective一样，不明白为什么Nan不愿意承认自己是aboriginal. 随着这些故事，以及作者去图书馆的调研，一切慢慢归功于一项：
Thousands of families in Australia were destroyed by the government policy of taking children away. None of that happened to white people.
作者的母亲故事中：
It was after the visit from the Welfare lady that Mum and I decided we would definitely never tell the children they were Aboriginal. We were both convinced they would have a bad time otherwise. Also, if word got out, another Welfare person might come and take them away. That would have killed us both.
Mum said she didn’t want the children growing up with people looking down on them. I understood what she meant. Aboriginals were treated the lowest of the low. It was like they were the race on earth that had nothing to offer.
所以这是一个慢慢 freeing the tongues of the author’s mother and grandmother, allowing them to tell their own stories.的过程。
书获得了很多奖项：Winner of the 1987 Australian Human Rights Award for Literature and the 1990 Order of Australia Book Prize。
所以说， My Place is an Australian classic.
读完此书，合卷长叹。谁说不幸的人生各自不同？阶级与歧视或者就是人性黑暗的昭然若揭。我们内耗的根源或者便是我们不同的mindset? 因此人生啊，显微镜下处处烽火，却也同时拿着放大镜去外太空寻找。
群里的智者Lily说过一个观点：地球上还有那么多沙漠，荒岛和大陆架都没好好利用，生存环境比外星火星好多了，技术也比较成熟，只是成本太高，但是比起移居外星还是便宜太多了，用外星移民多少分之一的研发投入应该就能把成本降低。
可是，还能再有一次五月花之旅吗？它带来的确是平等与自由吗？自由的距离有多远，平等的距离有多远，永远有多远？
澳洲土著人和非洲人、印度人都有点像。 是哦，宋雨航一直都没再来了，不知道去了哪里 妮南 发表于 12-6-2020 18:59
澳洲土著人和非洲人、印度人都有点像。
所以好悲哀的是，她们在自己的土地上，竟不敢说自己是土著。因为怕孩子被夺走。
她们经历了那么多不公平，一辈子都活动恐惧中。 kevin妈妈 发表于 12-6-2020 19:11
是哦，宋雨航一直都没再来了，不知道去了哪里
记得她当时在坛子里说，这本书是澳洲国宝级的作家写的classic annahw 发表于 12-6-2020 19:22
记得她当时在坛子里说，这本书是澳洲国宝级的作家写的classic
我什么时候也能静下心来好好读几本书呢？ annahw 发表于 12-6-2020 19:22
记得她当时在坛子里说，这本书是澳洲国宝级的作家写的classic
她当时说回国，后来疫情爆发了，我还有点担心她。但是她自那以后就没来过，不知道她怎么样了。
这本书我还没看过。 妮南 发表于 12-6-2020 19:46
我什么时候也能静下心来好好读几本书呢？
书太多，人生太短。 非常有意义的故事，可以给人很多反思。歧视的来源是分别心{:9_595:}
最明显的外貌上的分别本来是好的，毕竟一个大花园里，百花齐放才是正常的花园……
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