请高手们帮忙看看作文啊。。
TOPIC:Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
Using the credit card is increasingly widespread in modern society, especially among the young people. Whether it is beneficial for our lives has caused a heated debate. I am of the opinion that the benefits of credit cards outweigh the drawbacks.(41)
There are at least two reasons why the credit card has positive impact on our lives. Firstly, it can save people who are in financial crisis or emergencies in an appropriate way. If people have urgent demand for money, but do not have right now, the credit card can lend amounts of money and the borrower could pay back by installments. This could not only alleviate the borrowers’ financial pressure but also allow more time for them to serve their debts. Moreover, credit cards make something expensive more available, which improves young people’s quality of lives in particular. For example, products of Apple Corporation are so hot these years that attract many fans. Using credit cards enables people who cannot afford the costly device to enjoy it as soon as possible.(131)
There are disadvantages of the credit card as well. It encourages people to spend money in advance which could leave people in real financial difficulties, especially for the ones who lack of self-control or financial management abilities. The situation may become worse when people cannot pay their debts back. Then everyone suffers, the bank, those who in debt, and also the whole economy. Besides, if people are used to consuming with credit cards, it is probable to spend more and more money easier than with cash. As a result, debts build up and it is unlikely to save money. (99)
In sum, credit cards make our lives happier, while the card owners should be aware of their competence of repaying the loan. On the other hand, the bank should give a reasonable limit after investigating the applicant strictly.(38)
个人建议避免使用一些看上去夸大和绝对的词，比如说heated, save people, as soon as possible, everyone suffers, the whole economy
第三段开头最好加上连接词。
6.5分水平，仅供参考 我当时也是一直被卡在写作上，6.5分很多次，后来在淘宝上花钱请人改雅思作文，才觉得慢慢有点信心。你可以试试看。不过讽刺的是，在找老师改作文之前的最后一次考试中，4个7通过了，作文居然有8分，可能是运气的成分大吧。所以别灰心。 halleybachelor 发表于 13-2-2014 13:56 static/image/common/back.gif
个人建议避免使用一些看上去夸大和绝对的词，比如说heated, save people, as soon as possible, everyone s ...
Halley, 你也是会计类吧。什么时候考2雅啊 你的一雅成绩挺不错的 多考几次应该就能过了
最近会计风声很紧 我们还是要尽早行动了 letwind 发表于 13-2-2014 14:16 static/image/common/back.gif
Halley, 你也是会计类吧。什么时候考2雅啊 你的一雅成绩挺不错的 多考几次应该就能过了
最近会计风声很紧 ...
3月15号再战 halleybachelor 发表于 13-2-2014 13:56 static/image/common/back.gif
个人建议避免使用一些看上去夸大和绝对的词，比如说heated, save people, as soon as possible, everyone s ...
heated,这个从参考书上来的
我同意你的观点，写比较绝对的词确实不好，就是想不到该用什么词去换啊。。。 joeywong2013 发表于 13-2-2014 14:08 static/image/common/back.gif
我当时也是一直被卡在写作上，6.5分很多次，后来在淘宝上花钱请人改雅思作文，才觉得慢慢有点信心。你可以试 ...
你能回想起8分那次怎么导致8分的？ shushu 发表于 14-2-2014 00:22 static/image/common/back.gif
heated,这个从参考书上来的
我同意你的观点，写比较绝对的词确实不好，就是想不到该用什么词去换啊。。。 ...
问题就是出在从参考书上来的，用的人太多了，考官一看就认为你是抄模板。 shushu 发表于 14-2-2014 00:23 static/image/common/back.gif
你能回想起8分那次怎么导致8分的？
那次的小作文是关于澳洲居民消费结构变迁的图表题，和曾经看过的范文有点儿像，所以写起来逻辑上比较通顺。大作文是关于全球水资源分享问题的，涉及到环境、公平等社会问题，相对比较好写。而且此前已经有5次考试经验（其中一次作文7分，但口语6.5），所以发挥超常了吧。但说实话，经过高频率的考试（平均一个月2次），我感觉自己已经快要承受不住一次次的打击，就要放弃了。感谢上天让我通过了。希望你能够尽快成功炸7！加油！ joeywong2013 发表于 17-2-2014 18:23 static/image/common/back.gif
那次的小作文是关于澳洲居民消费结构变迁的图表题，和曾经看过的范文有点儿像，所以写起来逻辑上比较通顺 ...
恭喜你 your hard work has paid off....... halleybachelor 发表于 14-2-2014 12:40 static/image/common/back.gif
问题就是出在从参考书上来的，用的人太多了，考官一看就认为你是抄模板。
现在写作文还不是很有方式方法都从参考书来的
积累一下再总结对自己有用的方式
希望尽快脱离模板 其实楼主这篇挺不错的了，simplicity is good.
提个很技术性的建议哈，那个关于苹果的例子应该更具体化。你要论证的是信用卡让人们买得起他们本来买不起的东西。然后你的例子是，信用卡让人们买的起苹果的产品。你的论点里面又两个要素：信用卡如何让你买得起？让你买得起的是什么产品？你的例子只把第二个要素具体化了，但是没有解释第一个要素，这种问题叫做unmatched concreteness。考官见到这种举例论证的时候，他们会认为是考生没有能力把所有要素具体化，因此是语汇（LR）上的欠缺。
我个人的打分判断是TR 8; CC 6; LR 6; GRA 7
分数应该可以上7的 RyanP 发表于 26-2-2014 08:46 static/image/common/back.gif
其实楼主这篇挺不错的了，simplicity is good.
提个很技术性的建议哈，那个关于苹果的例子应该更具体化。 ...
wow... cheer me up ! thank you
写作文对我来说最大的困扰就是逻辑性，要提高这个太费劲了
词汇也很弱，不过这个下了决心是可以提高的
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