最近的ESSAY
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the travelers? It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists are obviously of benefit from travelling around the world in many respects. There are many causes to drive more tourists to travel than in the past. The main reason that people travel more than the past is the improving living standards. That means they can afford the cost of travel, such as accommodation, tickets diet and so on. If they cannot afford the high expense of their journey, they are unable to go anywhere even if they want to go. Furthermore, the fast pace of life make people feel exhausted and they are often too busy to spare time to refresh themselves. Travelling, therefore, give them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve themselves. The developing of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry. Airplanes, for example, enable people to travel abroad without spending too much time. When workers have recharged themselves, they could devote themselves to heavy daily work, which in turn enable people to travel again. It seems that the benefits are just the causes of travelling for many people, but they can still benefit from travel in many sides. First of all, having a wonderful trip can enrich their life experiences. If you have never gone somewhere, you cannot have any specific feeling or thinking in such things. A great journey may not only give us an opportunity to live life to the full, but also make us broaden our horizon. Then we may keep an open mind and have a positive outlook on our life and the future as well. In other words, it is not simply a way of travelling but a window to a colourful life. To sum up, more travelers tend to travel around than ever before because they can be greatly of benefit from this kind of things. For these people, they not only lead a colorful life, but live a happy life as well.都有说freeoz论坛是卧虎藏龙的地方，请各位大牛指点指点哈
:good :good 我只会打分 在国内这作文可以打到6.5分 :good 真的吗，虽然对自己没什么信心，但听了还是挺高兴的可惜是自己改的，所以想听听别人的意见，谢谢楼上回复 这是剑几的题呀？ Travelling, therefore, give them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve themselves
改成Travelling, therefore, gives them a chance to escape from the daily grind to relieve their pressure.
The developing of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry.
改成The development of modern transports also provides a possibility for the booming of the tourism industry
现在有事，所以只是草草看了一下。蛮流畅的，有的地方用法也很地道。
小的语法错误和少量不地道的表达是致命伤，给你改的这两个地方就有体现。
规避语法错误，保持现在的流畅，以及语言再地道一些，就可以上7了
祝好运~ 回家了..
第一句感觉有点问题It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists are obviously of benefit from travelling around the world in many respects.感觉now和recent years有点重复，tourists are of benefit from这个似乎也有点别扭，be of n和be adj是一样，tourists are beneficial from travelling,这个就明显感觉有点不通顺了,直接说benefit from就可以了，简单粗暴:lol
第二段Furthermore, the fast pace of life make people feel exhausted and they are often too busy to spare time to refresh themselves.这个错误出现两次了，楼主要当心了，makes,记得加s
第三段which in turn enable people to travel again.第三次出现这个错误...enables
If you have never gone somewhere, you cannot have any specific feeling or thinking in such things. 这句话感觉有点口语化，总觉得出现you怪怪的，换种说法吧，感觉方法还蛮多的。
but also make us broaden our horizon，直接说but also broaden our horizon就可以了
and the future as well，as well去掉吧
最后一段抛开语法错误不说，和前面也有些重复，paraphrase一下吧，动作大点
To sum up, more travelers tend to travel around than ever before because they can be greatly of benefit from this kind of things. For these people, they not only lead a colorful life, but live a happy life as well. 把happy换掉吧，fulfilling啥的都可以..
祝楼主好运:victory:
回复 #5 floatstone 的帖子
这个是剑8的G类第1套大作文回复 #7 Lopemann 的帖子
单复数的问题是要好好注意一下,我平时就比较粗心不太注意这些细节.第一遍的时候我用的是development后来改成了developing，因为想强调这个过程，看来这有点想当然了，查了下字典刚,根本就没这种用法
对，重复的问题挺严重的，所以每一句我想改成这样.: It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons. Clearly tourists can profit from travelling around the world in many respects
Withoutsuch kind of travelling experience, it is hard to form any specific expression on these placese.
最后一段，想了下，改成这样，觉得对文章的原因概括不够，所以:
To sum up, after being able to afford their travel, more people are travelling around than ever before. Meanwhile,they can be greatly of benefit from travelling to live life to the full.
回复 #7 Lopemann 的帖子
其实我基础特别差，高考英语没及格，以至于去了一个不太好的学校，曾经对英语有种本能的恐惧，但现在为了自己的梦想花了很多时间学英语，才把新概念1和2背完，感觉对自己帮助挺大的，准备背3但是因为基础不好，在学1和2的时候又参加了一次考试，除了作文提高了0。5分其它没没动口语还少了0。5分。感觉自己考前听力和阅读题目做的太少了，5月底准备再考一次。但因为自己一个人学习，所以想找人帮看下作文。不求能考7只希望考个6分，上次在论坛里发了好几篇一起，可能是太长了，把大家吓到了，所以这次只发一篇，所以非常感谢上面的几位朋友:good 我发现审题很重要，题目问的是 我后来写着写着写成了people travel more， 要注意:@ 上面的places多打了一个e:L每一段我重写了下
It is true that the number of visitors has increased in recent years. For many reasons, more people prefer to leave their home temporarily to have a holiday. Consequently, tourists also profit from travelling around the world in many respects. 逻辑还是有点问题推荐一本书吧
《顾家北手把手教你雅思写作》，这本书能很好消化吸收能带你上6.5，或7
祝好运
又一篇，记录自己的点滴
It seems experienced employers are more satisfied the demands in the job market recently. Compared with graduates from the college, experienced workers are more popular with employers. Nonetheless, this does not indicated that academic qualifications are unnecessary. Instead, I believe that both an academic education and work experiences are essential when it comes to get a good position the in job market.Experienced workers are more competitive against freshmen. First of all, experience can maximize the employers' profits, for they do not need to spend extra time and money on training them. Furthermore, those employees may not only adapt to work surroundings quickly, but also have the capacity to solve problems when they work. Finally, their experiences will play a key role to reform the current system if there is a necessary. In this way, they help the company reduce the cost largely, so they are more popular in the job market.
However, formal qualifications are also very useful and helpful in the career. To begin with, academic qualifications are relative to their future career development. It shows your potential abilities to the employers that you are qualified to the position in the future. In other words, workers will be limited in their promotion if they lack academic backgrounds. Moreover, in some professional areas, such as accountancy, the medical industry and archeology, academic knowledge often determines one's professional level and achievement. It is impossible to apply for a position in these professions without any formal qualification.
In conclusion, although practical skills become more important to job seekers than ever before, but it is also indispensable for applicants to have necessary academic qualifications when it comes to obtaining a good job. In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
回复 #10 kanyuba 的帖子
背新概念很有帮助么？这个工作量有点大啊，要背正本的话。回复 #17 loverain9999 的帖子
绝对有帮助，不过不强求背，跟读和仿写很有用
回复 #15 kanyuba 的帖子
It seems experienced employers are more satisfied the demands in the job market recently（有问题，be satisfied with是固定搭配，表示满意，但是你表达的不是满意的意思，所以看得出来是中文直译的，要不得，in the job market看得出来也有很中国特色，这样不好，修改一下可以说are more favorable in the job fair）. Compared with graduates from the college, experienced workers are more popular with employers.（这个基本和上句重复了，要是要体现the newly graduate直接可以在上句里面加个than就可以了） Nonetheless, this does not indicated that academic qualifications are unnecessary（语法错误惨不忍睹，does not后面加动词原形，不管是什么样的水平，这个都不应该错，后面那个教育程度也很生硬,可以改成educational backgrounds are of no use）. Instead, I believe that both an academic education and work experiences are essential when it comes to get a good position the in job market. （啰嗦，重复）Experienced workers are more competitive against freshmen（不说偏不偏题或这个topic sentence好不好，就文笔而言给人感觉就不好。毕竟这种表达大家都用，见到太多次了，而且和前面有重复的，experienced workers typically could gain a competitive edge over beginners）. First of all, experience can maximize the employers' profits(hiring the experienced, to some extent, could bring down the cost of employers), for they do not need to spend extra time and money on training them. Furthermore, those employees may not only adapt to work surroundings quickly(could not only find their positions in the workplace in a short term), but also have the capacity to solve problems when they work(but also be more capable of handling tricky problems they meet). Finally, their experiences will play a key role to reform the current system if there is a necessary(逻辑很大问题，语法问题也很明显，finally, to, necessary都用的莫名其妙，reform system这个也没见过，改成in addition,their experience may help to accelerate the reform of incumbent commercial systems). In this way, they help the company reduce the cost largely, so they are more popular in the job market. (换种表达，自己换吧)
看了两段不想看了，其实主要是再看下去也一样，你自己都看得出来自己的问题，就算再发10篇上来也一样。
好好读读我推荐的那本书吧，还有新概念，希望你看完新概念不是只学了几个单词。
sorry,语气很难听，只是我上次给你的建议没有看出你在这次的习作中执行了。
磨刀不误砍柴工，祝你好运:handshake
回复 #19 Lopemann 的帖子
连考了两次G类，作文都是6.5.顾老师的书我也看了，但感觉他写的文章还是比较“硬”，句与句之间的逻辑还是达不到native speaker的自然程度。也看了ielts-simon上的范文，感觉他的范文也就很顺，读起来不会感到别扭。只是他的范文数量太少了。
总之我的水平还要再提高，希望早点拿到7.
回复 #20 MacPhisto 的帖子
嗯，的确，书里面文章的水平本身就不高，但是对打好基础蛮好的，纠正前后逻辑不搭和中式表达这个理念蛮好。到后来，7分什么的自己的积累也挺重要的，bbc,卫报什么的文章，好的表达copy下来，用起来感觉还蛮有成就感:lol
6.5到7其实也有运气的成分，祝ls好运:lol :lol freeoz论坛都有被封了，搞不懂为什么 原帖由 kanyuba 于 2013-4-13 01:12 发表 http://www.hioz.me/ibbs/images/common/back.gif
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the travelers? It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years ...
看了第一段就不忍卒读了……
It is true that the number of visitors has now increased in recent years for many reasons.
now和in recent years语义重复；visitor偏重指参观者，在这里还是用tourist好点，因为visitor的囊括范围小于tourist。
Clearly tourists are obviously of benefit from travelling around the world in many respects.
Clearly与obviously再次重复。sb be of benefit 的用法闻所未闻。respects错误，明显是想说aspects。
就这水平，别说7分，连6分也悬。
不好意思，楼主，俺比较直接。希望你再接再厉，争取早日上7。 6 -6.5 的作文，还需努力。注意细节，注意语法错误。 原帖由 chenyj0115 于 2013-5-28 12:18 发表 http://www.hioz.me/ibbs/images/common/back.gif
6 -6.5 的作文，还需努力。注意细节，注意语法错误。
不可能到6.5。因为6.5意味着有4项评分标准中有2-3项拿到7分。
[ 本帖最后由 wisezmz 于 28-5-2013 12:44 编辑 ]
回复 #25 wisezmz 的帖子
哥么，给人家一点鼓励，我们都不是考官。底子还是可以的，6分是有的，6.5分看运气了。
我10年前考过一次雅思，当时我写完一篇文章都觉得费劲，但还得了6分。所以很多中国学生的水平就在6-6.5中徘徊，6.5-7是一个坎。
回复 #21 Lopemann 的帖子
老顾的短语可能不错。但是他的作文书，其中大作文范文走题的不是一篇两篇了。 原帖由 chenyj0115 于 2013-5-28 12:55 发表 http://www.hioz.me/ibbs/images/common/back.gif哥么，给人家一点鼓励，我们都不是考官。
底子还是可以的，6分是有的，6.5分看运气了。
我10年前考过一次雅思，当时我写完一篇文章都觉得费劲，但还得了6分。所以很多中国学生的水平就在6-6.5中徘徊，6.5-7是一个坎 ...
你是说十年前考的还是2010年前考的？
鼓励是要，但如果让人家过高评估自己的实力却很不好。提前知道不足，那还有时间去补救、提高；但以为自己肯定ok，最后考出来却达不到预期，岂不是费时费钱？
回复 #28 wisezmz 的帖子
我2003年考过一次，当时我记得是7.5,7,6,6具体内容不记得了，但是写作差点没写完，口语坐在那里一直结巴，大脑一片空白。
可能现在评分标准高了点也说不定。 原帖由 chenyj0115 于 2013-5-28 13:35 发表 http://www.hioz.me/ibbs/images/common/back.gif
我2003年考过一次，当时我记得是7.5,7,6,6
具体内容不记得了，但是写作差点没写完，口语坐在那里一直结巴，大脑一片空白。
可能现在评分标准高了点也说不定。
十年前和现在简直就是天壤之别，评分标准和人民币一样早已通货膨胀了。
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