The words from the bottom of a Mum's heart --- To all new mums and mums to be

宝贝不哭_219

I want to dedicate what I wrote below to all new mums, particularly to those who don't think they are "good mums".

Back 10 years ago, I was a anti-kids person. I don't like children running around in restaurants and shopping centre, I never feel close to them, I thought I will be a DINK--"Double Income Without Kids" after I got married.

Then my first child Jade was born in December, 2012. She was a planned child, the minute my obstetrician got her out and brought to my chest, instead of the sacred glow over a mum's face (like the one we saw in a movie) , I actually felt confused: so this is my child ? what am I supposed to do with her ?

The biggest change my new born baby brought to me ? My Friday ritual changes from bar hopping to breast feeding. Good-bye party time, hello motherhood !

My mother-in-law stayed the first month after Jade was born to help out, I have to say the first month is the toughest, I was in tears constantly -- questioning my ability to be a mum, I don't know what I did wrong that made my baby cry. when my mother-in-law was leaving, I felt absolute terrified -- You can't leave me alone with the baby ! I will accidentaly kill her !!

Turns  out -- I didin't accidently kill, strangle or drown her (thank god !) , instead, the attachment between us grows stronger everyday. I never sleep trained Jade or ignored her cry, but unexpectedly, by 1 month she started to sleep through the night without asking for a feed, then by 3 months, she can take naps by herself without me rocking her to sleep, deep inside, she must know what I wanted and started to look after me.

When Jade was 3 months, I took her to a friend's party , told him I look after Jade all by myself during the day before my husband goes home, He nodded his head and looked unconvinced, " You ? look after a baby? That's not possible. "

I want to say to new mums that never let other people doubt your ability to be a mother, they have no right to judge you are a "good mum" or not, every parenting style is different, find the one you are comfortable with, as long as you don't deliberately strangle your child, you are a good mother/father.

We mums all make mistakes, my friend once dropped her baby to the floor when bottle feeding him in the night. I made some serious mistake too last week----I forgot to put nappy on Jade before putting her to bed ! she ended up swimming in a ocean in her sleep! I have to give the poor child a bottle to settle and change bed sheet and sleeping bag!

I couldn't go this far without the support I got. I still remember before my mother-in-law left, she said to me: "You are a very good mother Susanna. ", my tears almost ran out, after so many sleepless nights and baby constantly unsettled,  her words really cheered me up and gave me belief in myself. Also big thanks to my mother group and all my mum friends, we have no family around us, you girls are my family.

Jade is 16 months now, I am surprised that I actually enjoy being a full time Mum.  I still respect couples who choose not to have kids. But if you are uncertain, I suggest you give it a try. Being a Mum is not easy but I guarantee there 's never a dull moment and it's very very rewarding.

There is something I learned from life : Sometimes you got to do what you have to do. We all make sacrifice for our family and share responsibilities. life is not always party time. when the road is easy, just cruise along and enjoy the ride, but when the road gets tough, you have to make yourself believe you can do it and make it through.

nisejob

愚夫

好妈妈是一本书，
好妈妈是一生财富，
向天底下所有的好妈妈致敬，你们是人类的骄傲～～

指纹

Master Wugui said, "the panda can not become what he is meant to be unless you believe it."

我有一回送依依去幼儿园忘了给她穿尿片儿，老师后来说准备给她换的时候一看光着的

后来还有一次没给她带奶嘴儿去，从此她就把奶嘴儿戒了

stillying1983

Thanks for sharing! Got a lot of inspirations from your articles.

For the last 15 years, I was determined not to have any kids in my life. We've changed our mind only a year ago. Now we are expecting.

I have decided to look after my baby by myself. My mother in law will only come to help me for a while. I was very upset when a friend told me you can't do that. None of her words were supportive, which is really disappointing.

Felt a lot better when I read your experience again.

mason00

这英文的文化水准很高啊

宝贝不哭_219

stillying1983 发表于 1-5-2014 15:01

                               
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Thanks for sharing! Got a lot of inspirations from your articles.

For the last 15 years, I was de ...

Congratulation on your preganency! I am sure you can look after the baby by yourself, there will be a tough period, but after that, everything will get easier and easier.