我1月25日雅思考试大作文回忆，请大家不吝赐教

letwind

刚在1月25日考了三鸭，因为小作文花时间太久，大作文写的很仓促，只写了30来分钟，后来回忆出现了几处错误。如直接将摄氏度写成了centigrades,而不是degrees centigrades, 还有最后一句话画蛇添足，写了starting from now on再加了了个in the future...我估计肯定是要扣分的..sigh.. 请大家看一下并提意见，已经预定了3月两场考试了... 以下是我的回忆，大概90%的内容就是考场上写的吧。。

大作文题目: The international community should act immediately to reduce the use of fossil fuels. Do you agree or disagree?

I strongly uphold the call to curb the use of fossil fuels such as oil and gas, to contain the environmental damage it made to the international community in which we are all bound to each other.

It’s an undeniable fact the over one hundred years of continuous exploitation and  consumption of fossil fuels have had tremendous amount of negative impact to the earth. The eco-system of the world has undergone dramatic changes in line with the explosive increase in the use of fossil fuels such as oil and gas. The temperature of the earth is at least 5 centigrades higher than what it was 100 years ago as stated in scientific research, which is attributable to the greenhouse effect associated with a massive build-up of pollutants, with the major source of pollution being fossil fuels. Moreover, the number of smog days in metropolitan areas in the world, especially in China, has been on a consistent rise in recent years , which is mainly due to increased emissions from vehicles that rely mainly on oil and gas for power. Therefore, it’s high time for international community to take corrective actions to rectify this situation. One way to tackle this problem is to seek alternative energy solutions.

The alternative energy sources such as wind power, hydro power and solar power can be considered to be suitable substitutes for the traditional fossil fuels as they have unparalleled advantage compared with oil and gas. First of all, these energy sources are clean and green with no harm to the natural environment, the generation of which only requires wind, water and the sun.  Furthermore, unlike the fossil fuels that are subject to full depletion one day, they are renewable energy sources which can be produced endlessly. Clearly it’s an absolutely wise decision for the international community to switch to these new energy sources.

In conclusion, the control on the use of fossil fuels should be strictly enforced. In the meantime, the eco-friendly new energy sources should play a dominant role starting from now on and in the future.

meng365

1鸭就过了  真厉害。看来楼主底子非常之好啊

Eruisituisi

上个月刚7炸，感觉楼主写的比我牛多了。我有一个来自切身体会的建议，把段落结构固定下来。我推荐刘洪波的15句模版，楼主肯定不需要用他的句子模版，但是段落结构可以固定用他的，每段几句话也可以基本固定。因为这也是英语为母语的学生从小写议论文的标准结构。另外，很多时候我们以为我们没跑题，其实我们跑题了，楼主可以多琢磨下。

Kindler

个人感觉第三段是不是有些跑题。

题目问的是“reduce the use of fossil fuels", do you agree?

解题的话应该是分析原因，为什么agree，而不是给出solution。

要是我写的话，我大概会这么写：
1. agree
2. 因为使用它会带来环境危害。污染，不合理开采，技术不成熟导致的种种后果。
3. 因为它是不可再生的，用完就没了，不符合可持续发展。还是留着些给子孙后代吧。
4. 重申观点。

以上只是一个雅思6分的人的拙见，纯属切磋。

感谢@Eruisituisi 分享经验。学习了。

lz基本功这么好，只要不跑题，肯定是7分以上的水平。

letwind

谢谢KINDLER的点评，我现在也觉得有点偏题了，不应该谈solution,只谈reason就可以了，sigh... 还是认真准备3月下一次考试吧
Eruisituisi ，谢谢你的建议，我会找刘洪波的书来看看，不过我已经买了胡敏的“雅思写作真题题库”，打算大量加强写作的练习以提高熟练度，这样才能应付考场的高压和紧张的情况。

sweetstar

你们脑子太好了。我考完基本啥也记不得。

wisezmz

这篇作文不看好，估计顶多只能拿6分。因为把thesis-led 的题目写成了thesis-solution，整个框架都错了。

门外汉1982

最好先写大作文，在写小作文。

楼主可能还忽略了一个事实，现在的雅思考试比09年你参加的时候，变态很多了。
我相信你内心是觉得最多两次拿下四个7的，不要轻敌。

letwind

谢谢门外汉，其实考完第二次心态就正常很多了，到现在更是要忘记以前的时候了，要好好准备写作，口语也不能放松！

halleybachelor

楼主语言功底比我强大多了。但可能跟我一样，在语言上过于用力，忽略了扣题和结构。
还是挑刺吧：
have impact to? (or have impact on?)
with the major source of pollution being fossil fuels. (Is there any missing word?)
sources can be produced endlessly? (or can be exploited?)