经典英语笑话集锦 - 喜欢英语笑话的TX一起来盖大楼，分享笑话，精彩加分！

pinxinge

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

pinxinge

There was a woman who had three sons. When they had grown up the sons left home, went out on their own and prospered years later. Getting back together they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said: "I will build a big house for our mother."

The second said: "I will send her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third said: "Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible. And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

Soon thereafter mom sent out her letters of thanks.

"Milton," she wrote to one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude."

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

lisa2008

pinxinge

A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It is a quarter to three, young man." "Thanks," said the boy. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my ass." With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this at your age?" asked the friend. Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, "That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!" "So what's your hurry," said the friend. "You still have ten minutes."

lisa2008

President Sarkozy visits a steel factory. To the boss's surprise, the president greets an employee, Morton, with a warm hug. The same thing happens when Barack Obama visits, and again during Vladimir Putin's tour.

Unimpressed, the boss says to Morton, "I bet you don't know the pope."

Morton shrugs. "We play golf together."

The gauntlet has been tossed, and the boss pays their way to the Vatican. During the Benediction, Morton slips away. Sure enough, he reappears—side by side with the pope.

Two Chinese tourists tap the boss on the shoulder and ask, "Who's the guy in white standing with Morton?"

lisa2008

原帖由 pinxinge 威望 +30 我哭，不太懂。 9-9-2010 22:42

the man in white is Vantican Pope. the point is, Morton is more famous than the Pope for the two Chinese

pinxinge

Three people were on a plane.

One said to the pilot, "I have a glass bottle. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window.

The second one asked the same question and the pilot also told him to throw it out the window.

The third one asked the pilot, "I have a bomb. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window.

When they landed they met a man crying. When asked why he was crying, he replied, "Because I got hit in the head with a glass bottle." They met a woman who was crying for the same reason. Then they met a man laughing. They asked him why he was laughing and he replied, "Because I walked by a building and farted. Then the building blew up."

figaro

我也喜欢这个帖子，起码到目前为止很多笑话我之前没看过，而且让我笑了。

half

tpsreset

很好很有趣

35楼的还是没太懂，I know Morton is more famous. But how did he make it?