写作经验肯定比翻译经验弱，仅从写作的Common Sense说。作者: Winnie1010 时间: 23-11-2010 22:04
Someone think children should attend extra classes after school, other disagree. Discuss both opinion and give your own view.
（Amended）
It is common to see that many children begin to attend extra classes after they come back from school. Additional hours in study may mean quantity but not necessarily suggest quality in children’s education.
Children can benefit from extra classes as they get more opportunities for enhanced study or development of hobbies. For example, students who attend extra classes in relation to school subjects get a chance to review what they have not grasped at school so that they can catch up with fast learners. Through extra study, they may also extend what they have learned at school. In addition, students can choose extra-curricular activities in the subjects that are not available at school, such as piano, chess, and Chinese painting etc. The extra classes thus provide good opportunities for children’s continuing education and growth.
However, the quality of education cannot be warranted by increased hours in study, especially when extra classes go beyond the burden of students and parents. Students may easily become tired after a long time in study. Some students even go far away to attend evening classes and return home late. If the balance between study and rest is broken, children’s health will be jeopardized. Extra classes also appear expensive for some families, so they increase the financial burden of parents. Without a sound family environment, it is also uneasy for children to learn smoothly and successfully.
Therefore, children are encouraged to take more opportunities after school hours either to support their study at school or to develop their personal interest, unless the study pressure or financial burden goes so far that it is better to study no more and no less.作者: Winnie1010 时间: 23-11-2010 22:13
1. I, me, my：
Academic writing最忌讳用词。
不用说这些，别人都知道是“你”写的、认为的，“你的”观点、看法。
2. I think, i believe
同上
3. Agree/disagree：
可以从你的观点里infer。
I agree, I totally agree, i completely agree
没有好到哪里去。
如果真的agree，不用大声喊，读者都能看出来。作者: yearshappy 时间: 23-11-2010 22:54
为什么不直接指出题目语法错误的个数呢？估计老师在考大家作者: charade 时间: 25-11-2010 10:40
Someone think children should attend extra classes after school, other disagree. Discuss both opinion and give your own view.
首先，someone是不定代词（我可能说错这个称谓，不确定），一般这种地方用some people。如果用someone, which is incorrect anyway, 那么后面think就应该加s
同样对beyond the burden of.... 有疑问。就是sense非常不对。估计拿给西人看，他们会不明白什么意思。但我不知道应该怎么说。作者: Winnie1010 时间: 29-11-2010 12:39 标题: broken English "Go beyond"？
or "beyond the burden of"?作者: Winnie1010 时间: 29-11-2010 14:06 标题: introduction或可复述问题，但最好点明主题 e.g.
1. Educational issue is a never outdated topic of discussion. Now, let us focus on whether high-school graduates need tour or work for a period of time before they start their undergraduate days.
2. Education is not everything about school activities. Travel or work experiences can direct a school leaver in what area he or she is to receive tertiary education, though they may play a superficial role sometimes.
