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标题: 高手帮看一下这篇作文打几分 [打印本页]

作者: lubchsie 时间: 10-5-2010 14:53
标题: 高手帮看一下这篇作文打几分
Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel, but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Experiment has served to help the development of science that represents the development of civilization for hundreds years. It is the unique means by which a fresh theory can be validated. No one will doubt the significance of the experiment in science field except in physiology, for the experiment in physiology maybe hurt animals even human being. Is this sort of experiment ethical and right like other scientific experiment from the point view of human being? This debate that has lasted for hundreds of years arose with the emergence of the experiment in physiology.

Everybody benefit from the development of physiology and medicine. And the increase of human lifetime depends utterly on the development of physiology and medicine which can not progress without experiment using animal. Sorts of ill that killed many people long time ago can be cured now due to the development of physiology and medicine. Human being are released from the anguish of illness and can enjoy the happiness in the most of the entire life. For these reason, many people hold the point that it is necessary to do the experiment using animals.

Other people oppose this sort of experiment for considering most of these experiments are cruel and inhumane. Animals belong to this world like human being. They can feel pain and have the instinct for survival which should be respected. Animals couldn't be subjected to this kind of experiment that almost only benefit human being.

Both points of view are reasonable. Both sides should compromise to solve the conflict. The development of physiology and medicine can not be blocked by the objection of experiment using animals. But the using of animals should be minimized. Animals can not be sacrificed for the benefit of human being.

作者: leia 时间: 10-5-2010 21:36
3个5.5的提的意见好不好？

语句直接连接不好，多为非常独立的陈述（虽然意思上有关系，但是在语言上为表现出来），相互支撑较少。
第一段太长，喧宾夺主了。

另外，单数和复数可能要注意下。

作者: key 时间: 11-5-2010 11:40
lz的文章写得非常好，词汇丰富，句式多样，结构合理。

如果一定要吹毛求庇一下，我觉得lz可能需要了解一下作文的套路。
比如，是否考虑先写你不支持的意见，再写你支持的意见。

原帖由 lubchsie 于 10-5-2010 13:53 发表

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Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel, but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Giv ...

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