Don't Marry Career Women
How do women, careers and marriage mix? Not well, say social scientists.Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.
Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.
Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure … at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?
Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse's parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married--it's just that they are less likely to be so than nonworking women. And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.
To be clear, we're not talking about a high school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.
If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research).
Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally, men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home, and women have tended to do "nonmarket" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.
In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect. "I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says. A few other studies, which have focused on employment (as opposed to working hours), have concluded that working outside the home actually increases marital stability, at least when the marriage is a happy one. But even in these studies, wives' employment does correlate positively to divorce rates, when the marriage is of "low marital quality."
The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen his or her mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likable than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."
There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extramarital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 times more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas). Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.
And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually transmitted disease. Plus, divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.
So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. According to a 2004 paper titled "What Do Social Scientists Know About the Benefits of Marriage?," marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances" and higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.
A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.
The original article please see...
here: http://www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html:P千万别娶职业女性
——社会科学家发现，女性、职业和婚姻不合麦克尔•诺尔
弟兄们，给大伙儿一句建议：无论娶漂亮的还是难看的，娶高的还是矮的，白肤金发碧眼的还是皮肤浅黑的，都不要娶职业女性。
为什么这样建议呢？因为按多数社会科学家的观点，娶职业女性将给你带来更高的婚姻不稳的风险。尽管我们都知道婚姻本身可能带来压力，但最近的研究发现职业女性更容易离婚，更容易欺骗，更不可能要孩子，即使要了她们也还是不可能感到高兴。《社会力量》这本调查杂志最新的研究发现，大多数女性当丈夫是家庭主要经济收入者时会更高兴，包括那些有着“女权主义者”的外表的女性也是如此。
当很多男性，尤其是成功男性，遇到一个和他有着同样目标和野心的女性时，结局往往都不是幸福的。为什么不不幸福呢？毕竟你的那一半受过良好的教育，积极进取，知识渊博，收入稳定啊，为什么还会不幸福呢？说得直白点，她越成功，就会越容易对你不满意。听起来是不是很耳熟呢？
要想建立稳固的婚姻，需要多种因素的支持，包括你配偶的父母的婚姻状况(父母离婚的孩子将来离婚的可能性也会大很多)，初次结婚的年龄，种族，宗教信仰和社会经济状况等等。当然，也有很多职业女性婚后很快乐也使得婚姻很充实，但这种可能性要比不工作的女性的可能性要小得多。
不过我们还得说清楚点，我们在这儿说的职业女性不是指高中毕业后去当收银员的那种女性。我们指的“职业女性”是指有着大学或以上学历，每周在家外工作超过35个小时，每年收入超过3万美元的女性。
如果我们相信一系列调查的结果的话，我们将会发现，娶这些女性真是自找麻烦。如果让她们辞去工作在家看孩子的话，他们会不高兴(《婚姻与家庭》2003)；如果她们比你挣的钱多，她们会不高兴(《社会力量》2006)；如果她们挣得比你多，你也会不高兴(《婚姻与家庭》2001)；如果娶职业女性，你将更有可能生病(《美国社会学》)；如果娶职业女性，你的家很可能变得更脏(社会研究院)。
为什么会这样呢？尽管工作、女性和离婚率之间的关系一直是个很复杂而且有争议的话题，大部分理据都是基于大量的经济理论和常识来进行的。在传统经济学中，婚姻至少在一定程度上是劳动分工的练习。传统上来讲，男性多从事家庭之外的有偿的“市场”工作，而女性则从事“非市场”活动，如做家务、照顾孩子等。所有这些工作都必须与有人来做，所以无论谁做什么，婚姻这种组合都能够达到解决劳动任务这个目的。诺贝尔经济学奖得主，着名的人类行为经济分析大师加里•贝克 (Gary S. Becker)曾辩论说，当婚姻中的劳动分工下降时， 比如夫妻双方都有工作时，婚姻整体的价值对双方都会有所下降，因为需要做的工作的总量没有完成，使得生活对双方都更加困难，从而导致离婚的可能性增大。实际上，不断的研究也是在不断的重复証明这一点。
2004 年，约翰•约翰逊(John H. Johnson)整理一份调查的数据后得出结论：性别对工作时间和离婚率上升的关系上有很大影响。女性的工作时间上升导致离婚率上升，而男性工作时间的上升对离婚率则没有具体影响。约翰逊表示：“我同时发现夫妻双方都工作的婚姻离婚率要比只有一方工作的要高得多。”另外其他一些注重于就业的研究得出结论显示在家外工作实际上增加了婚姻的稳定性，尤其是当一桩婚姻很幸福时。当时就是在这样一些研究中，当婚姻质量低下时，妻子的就业也和离婚率正相关。
另一个事业可以伤害婚姻的原因则更加明显。但凡有过妻子和她男同事跑了的经历的男人对这个理由都不陌生：当妻子在外工作时，她们遇到更心仪的男性的几率就大大增加了。埃德里安•布娄(Adrian J. Blow )在《婚姻与家庭疗法》杂志上发表的一份报告中表示：“工作环境提供了很多可能的未来的伙伴，而工作者也发现他们花很多时间在和这些可能的伙伴们相处。”
此外，还有更多的原因显示职业女性不利于婚姻发展。大量通读发表后的各种文献我们会发现，受过高等教育的人更容易发生婚外恋。有着大学学历的人欺骗婚姻的比率时只有高中学历的人的1.75倍。
如果欺骗导致离婚的话，男性往往更麻烦了，因为离婚通常会导致酗酒、郁闷甚至自杀。另外的一些研究还显示离婚会导致癌症、中风和性传播疾病几率的上升。最近发表在《社会学》杂志上一篇题为“婚姻和离婚对健康的影响”一文中透露，离婚者认为他们全部的净财产减少77%。
既然这样，为什么不选择单身呢？讲的学术点，因为一个稳固的婚姻带来的好处远远超过单身的小“幸福”。同时，婚姻还会带来广泛的社会和健康含义。2004年发表的一篇题为“社会科学家们对婚姻的好处了解多少？”一文中显示，一个好的婚姻与更高的收入、更健康的生活和孩子们更有希望的未来有关系。
当然最后还要提醒一句，不要弄混淆了相关性和因果性的关系。也就是说，结婚了的人比单身的人更健康，并不意味着婚姻可以增加健康，也有可能是更加健康的人更容易结婚罢了。
中文翻译出自。。。
文学城的白玫瑰花同学：http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201006&postID=7564;P The arguments in that article are so unreasonable.It is not appropriate for a woman nowadays to still have a Cinderella complex. Healthy personalities contribute to a happy matrimony and healthy personalties are kind of based on financial independence. The husband might also be proud that he doesn't need to bank roll his wife.
The decisive factor of whether the wife would grow dissatisfied with her hubby or run off with her colleagues is not whether she is a professional, but her personalties and her feelings towards her husband. If she doesn't love him enough, there will always be a chance for her to fall for someone else. It is unfair to blame the workplace just because she did it there.
Counterpoint: Don't Marry A Lazy Man
By Elizabeth CorcoranStudies aside, modern marriage is a two-way street. Men should own up to their responsibilities, too.
Girlfriends: a word of advice. Ask your man the following question: When was the last time you learned something useful, either at home or work?
If the last new skill your guy learned was how to tie his shoes in the second grade, dump him. If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you've got a winner.
I'm not usually a fan of dipstick tests, particularly when it comes to marriage and relationships. But a downright frightening story written by my colleague, Michael Noer, on our Web site today drove me to it. According to the experts cited by Michael, marrying a "career girl" seems to lead to a fate worse than tangling with a hungry cougar.
OK, call me a cougar. I've been working since the day I graduated from college 20-odd years ago. I have two grade-school-aged children. Work definitely takes up more than 35 hours a week for me. Thankfully, I do seem to make more than $30,000. All of which, according to Michael, should make me a wretched wife.
In spite of those dangerous statistics, my husband and I are about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. You'll see us snuggling at a mountain-winery concert this month, enjoying the occasion. I don't think I'm all that unusual--so it seemed like a good time to test Michael's grim assertions.
The experts cited in his story think that professional women are more likely to get divorced, to cheat and to be grumpy about either having kids or not having them. But rather than rush to blame the woman, let's not overlook the other key variable: What is the guy doing?
Take, for instance, the claim that professional women are more likely to get divorced because they're more likely to meet someone in the workforce who will be "more attractive" than that old squashed-couch hubby at home.
Women have faced this kind of competition squarely for years. Say you marry your college heartthrob. Ten years later, he's working with some good-looking gals--nymphets just out of college, or the more sophisticated types who spent two years building houses in Africa before they went to Stanford Business School. What do you do? A: Stay home, whine and eat chocolate. B: Take up rock climbing, read interesting books and continue to develop that interesting personality he fell in love with in the first place.
Note to guys: Start by going to the gym. Then try some new music. Or a book. Or a movie. Keep connected to the rest of the world. You'll win--and so will your marriage.
There is, of course, the continual dilemma of who does the work around the house. But if both spouses are working, guess what? They've got enough income to hire someone else to fold laundry, mop floors, etc.
Money is a problem? Honestly, the times money has been the biggest problem for us have been when we were short of it--not when one of us is earning more than the other. When we have enough to pay the bills, have some fun and save a bit, seems like the rules of preschool should take over: Play nice, be fair and take turns.
In two-career couples, Michael frets, there's less specialization in the marriage, so supposedly the union becomes less useful to either party. Look more closely, Mike! Any long-running marriage is packed full of carefully developed--and charmingly offsetting--areas of expertise.
For us, the list starts with taxes, vacation planning and investment management. My husband likes that stuff, and it leaves me yawning. Bless him for doing it. Give me the wireless Internet system, the garden or just about any routine home repairs, and I'm suddenly the savant. Tear us apart, and we'd both be pitiful idiots trying to learn unfamiliar routines.
Michael is right that longer work hours force two-career couples to try harder to clear out blocks of family time. When we do, though, we get to enjoy a lot more. We understand each other's career jokes and frustrations. We're better sounding boards on what to do next. And at dinner parties, we actually like to be seated at the same table.
The essence of a good marriage, it seems to me, is that both people have to learn to change and keep on adapting. Children bring tons of change. Mothers encounter it first during the nine months of pregnancy, starting with changing body dimensions. But fathers have to learn to adapt, too, by learning to help care for children, to take charge of new aspects of a household, to adapt as the mothers change.
So, guys, if you're game for an exciting life, go ahead and marry a professional gal. I am with Elizabeth. :lol
It seems men and women are always looking at the same thing from different point of view.
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