A Little Bit of Humour …
A Little Bit of Humour …The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.
这是来自澳大利亚旅游网站的一些想去澳大利亚旅游的人问的一些问题。澳洲由于远离欧洲和美洲大陆，有些国家的人们对澳洲的情况也并不十分了解。那些问题的答案是网站的一个工作人员回答的。看得出，这个工作人员颇有幽默感。 贴出来给大家笑一笑。
Q: Does it ever get rainy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Question:澳大利亚会不会下雨?我在电视上看到澳大利亚都是艳阳天,不下雨植物怎么长呀?
Answer:我们都是进口长好了的植物,然后就坐在那儿看着它们死掉
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Question:在悉尼的街上能看见袋鼠吗? Answer:能,但取决于你是否喝得够高
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Question:我想徒步沿火车线从悉尼走到帕斯,请问是否可行?
Answer:当然,只不过几千公里而已嘛,但是你要带足够的水(中间的一段是沙漠)
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Question:你们澳大利亚有ATM吗?请给我新州,维州,昆士兰州的所有ATM的列表
Answer:请告诉我你的上一个奴隶死于什么?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.. oh forget it. ..... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Question:你们澳大利亚有河马赛跑吗?
Answer:河马赛跑是在非洲...一个位于欧洲南部的三角形大陆,澳大利亚是位于太平洋中央的一个巨大的岛屿,那里没有...噢,废话少说吧,河马赛跑是有的,不过在红灯区,通常是裸奔的
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions .
Question:你能告诉我在澳大利亚怎么判断北边吗?
Answer:面向南方,再转180度,如果你还需要知道其他方向,请到了澳大利亚再联系我们,我们尽量为你解答
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Question:我可以带刀叉到澳大利亚吗?
Answer:为什么?象我们一样用手指头好了
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Question:你能发一份维也纳男声合唱团的节目表给我吗?
Answer:奥地利是德国边上的一个小国家,噢,废话少说吧,澳大利亚也有男声合唱的,每个星期二在红灯区,,排在河马赛跑之后,通常也是裸奔的(因为奥地利跟澳大利亚的拼写很接近,所以…)
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Question:澳大利亚有超市吗?常年有牛奶供应吗?
Answer:哦,我们是一个善良和平的国家,我们只吃素,牛奶是非法的
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Question:我记得澳大利亚有一种著名的动物,长得象熊,长在树上的,但是我不记得名字了
Answer:那叫掉熊(drop bear),因为它们老是从桉树上掉下来,吃从树下走过人的脑髓,不过你可以在出门前在身上喷些人尿,这样就可以把它吓跑.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Question:澳大利亚有香水吗?
Answer:没有,我们没有体臭
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller
than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Question:请告诉我在塔什马尼亚州有一个女性人口比男性人口少的部落吗?
Answer:有的,gay club (男同性恋俱乐部）
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Question:你们澳大利亚也过圣诞节吗？
Answer: 只在圣诞节的时候过。
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Question:我在1969年左右曾经在红灯区约会一个女孩,我现在想联系她,你能否帮忙?
melody jane: Answer:可以,不过你还得按小时付钱
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Question:在澳大利亚能讲英语吗?
Answer:当然能,但是你首先要学会英语。 哈哈
有些美国人以为澳洲人后院都有袋鼠呢 http://www.freeoz.org/forum/viewthread.php?tid=769187&extra=page%3D1 感觉问问题的人更幽默…… :zan 幽默，我顶！ :good :good :good :zan :zan :zan ;P:good :qiang :zan :lol 塔州这里基本早上都可以在靠近山边的院子里面看到小袋鼠,比main land的大袋鼠小整整一大号 :P
fun-ny,it shows how well the Australia has been known. “很黄，很暴力！” 哈哈哈，楼上太逗了……
请教
"Question:你们澳大利亚有ATM吗?请给我新州,维州,昆士兰州的所有ATM的列表Answer:请告诉我你的上一个奴隶死于什么?"
为什么这么回答呢？不太懂。 很好，很强大:good :lol
回复 #12 comeon 的帖子
此人要求的文件打印出来，要汗牛充栋了:lol 原帖由 涛涛太太 于 1-2-2008 22:27 发表 http://www.freeoz.org/forum/images/common/back.gif塔州这里基本早上都可以在靠近山边的院子里面看到小袋鼠,比main land的大袋鼠小整整一大号
嗯，那个是wallaby, 比较适应丛林，kangaroo更适应草原。在大陆由于丛林被改造成草原，还有引进的猫，狗狐狸等，导致wallaby已经不多了，而red/grey kangaroo繁殖过量
在tas树多，wallaby还是很多的，不过死在路上的wallaby也不少:( 原帖由 zlsiva 于 2-2-2008 15:44 发表 http://www.freeoz.org/forum/images/common/back.gif
此人要求的文件打印出来，要汗牛充栋了:lol
谢谢！
问和你上一个奴隶死于什么有何关联意思？ 就是说"你"是奴隶主的做派 :L ，:P 这样呀，茅塞顿开！ 偶的翻译是“那活不是人干的”;P 真实故事：
前几天老婆和一个来这里十几年了的香港人聊天，说起女儿在国内喜欢吃麦当劳........， 香港人狐疑的问：中国也有麦当劳啊........ 原帖由 freshfish 于 2-2-2008 19:54 发表 http://www.freeoz.org/forum/images/common/back.gif
真实故事：
前几天老婆和一个来这里十几年了的香港人聊天，说起女儿在国内喜欢吃麦当劳........， 香港人狐疑的问：中国也有麦当劳啊........
;P ;P ;P
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