augustya 发表于 21-3-2014 23:55:16

simon 的网站上的task 2 感觉不知道怎么写 求批


Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.






The science and technology are developing fast nowadays. With the breakthrough of studies in biology and other scientific fields, however, there are always some animals sacrificed for the good of humanity. Whether the act that people do tests on animals is morally wrong or just being totally acceptable for the benefits brought to human beings?In this essay, both views will be discussed and personal understanding will be demonstrated.


People doing experiments on animals can be cruel and shows no mercy to them. For one thing, animals should be equal to human in terms that we are both creatures living in this world, thus, their lives should not be dominated by human beings. For another, animals suffer in the process of doing experiments. In medicine researches, for example, animals are fed with drugs which undermine their health and cause them to die gradually. All these reasons make people against testing on animals from a moral perspective.


People who reckon animal testing is acceptable are more likely to take this from an economic benefit point of view. Institutions and companies conducting animal experiments would make great fortune when the new medicine and technology are put on the market for human use. Other than that, animal experiments do benefit human. The cancer drugs and vaccines, which are normally tested on animals, have been saving thousands of people’s lives.


In conclusion, testing on animals could be, to some extents, morally wrong and makes animals suffer. Whereas, I think this is not comparable to what it has brought to us: the development of science and technology, the lives saved by new medicines and the improved standard of people’s lives.

augustya 发表于 21-3-2014 23:59:53

写完之后看了 simon 写的,有种想掐死自己的冲动:Q

wisezmz 发表于 22-3-2014 01:21:03

augustya 发表于 21-3-2014 23:59 static/image/common/back.gif
写完之后看了 simon 写的,有种想掐死自己的冲动

你能从写作打分的四个维度分别谈谈差别在哪里吗?

augustya 发表于 22-3-2014 02:46:23

wisezmz 发表于 22-3-2014 01:21 static/image/common/back.gif
你能从写作打分的四个维度分别谈谈差别在哪里吗?

哪四个维度?词汇不会用高级的词汇,说理不够valid.就是感觉和他差太多!

augustya 发表于 22-3-2014 02:59:08

1.任务完成.   大致说了both sides   和自己的view,但是都论证的不充分.论据太简单了,而他的文章举例很恰当
2连贯。   虽然用了连接词。但是只是形式上的连接,句与句之间缺少逻辑连接.
3词汇。负分滚粗!!!完全没有高级词汇!
5句型。    太工整的句子。缺乏变化.太呆板!
页: [1]
查看完整版本: simon 的网站上的task 2 感觉不知道怎么写 求批