求热心肠的同学帮我修改一下作文
本帖最后由 niuyuzhou 于 7-3-2014 19:23 编辑套的刘洪波的模板，能有6.5分吗
Public celebrations will cost a lot of money. Some people think government should spend money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about how their government makes use of their money. However, whether governments should invest in public celebrations has become a heated issue. I agree with the view that government should not pay a lot attention to them, for the following reason.
First, it is obvious that public celebrations would place a huge financial burden on local governments because they are money-consuming. This means that governments will have to reduce the investment in other more valuable fields being more important to social well-being, for example education and welfare. Moreover, most of people cannot benefit a lot from these expensive activities directly. This is because public celebrations cannot solve any practical problems, such as environment and unemployment problems, which the public care about most. Therefore, it is not necessary for the government to pay too much attention to public celebrations.
That is not to say that public celebrations cannot play any positive role in local society. One example is that National Day can help local people understand and love their country’s history better. However, governments should give top priority to things meeting people’s basic needs, such as housing and medical care, because there is a closer link between them and local people’s happiness.
In sum, governments should invest more in fields improving people’s living standard, such as education and environmental protection. Meanwhile, they need to be aware that public celebrations, to some degree, have a positive influence on social well-being. By doing so governments can ensure that they can make full use of their budget.
谢谢热心网友，我把定从都改分词了。
刘洪波的模板我用过，可以有6.5 但是要7，难 没觉得很出彩。。。。。 你说 following reasons 但是我只看到一个支持你观点的reason～说谎，这是会大扣分的重罪～～而且你陈述反方观点的时候没有转折记号“It is also true”翻译中文里确实有点开始说反方的意思，但是英文里没有，让人以为你要再说一个支持你观点的段落。
还有为何你那么沉醉于定于从句？那玩意又不好掌握 又不见得多高级，尽量戒掉吧～
感觉6-6.5之间，靠近6.5但是不到。总分能不能6.5要看小作文写的怎么样了～
个人看法，勿喷
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