will.xuhui 发表于 25-11-2013 23:28:27

雅思作文新手---代朋友转发,请大家帮忙看看! 谢谢

Nowadays the communication of countries becomes more frequent, so mastering a foreign language is important.In China usually secondary schools offer English curriculum, but there are also private schools and clubs provide this trainning for young children. basically the earlier for children to start learning foreign language, the more advantages they will derive from it.

   Young children imitate what they hear easily, they do not identify it is mother tongue or foreign language. they dare to say, most likely will not feel embarrassed even though they speak in bad pronunciation or wrong grammar. On the other hand, teenagers possibly care for other people's attitude, they could be afraid of losing face when speak in inappropriate way, so this will be the barrier of studying foreign language for adolescent.

    Besides, young children's muscle of mouth is flexible, it helps to pronouce in any language. And they are good at memorizing actually, they show good retentivity, once they remember it that it tends toward being unforgettable. If they start learning at primary school, the vocabulary accumulated for 6 years in primary school will be considerable, it's obvious useful for subsequent education in middle school. If they win praises for excellent study of foreign language, they will be more confident, outgoing and happy which is positive to develop their personality.

   so many good aspects listed above, but there are always different views. Some people believe that young children should have fun in their childhood, basic knowledges like Math, Chinese are enough, it will be heavy load for them to learn a foreign language. So it is important to teach them in right way, they can study and have good time at the same time, the emphasis should be to trigger the interest of learning, but not to compel them to
master more words or complicated sentences.

   English as a foreign language is widely used currently, it is better for young children starting learning it in early education stage as long as the method of teaching is proper.

total 330+

F_LEE 发表于 26-11-2013 14:57:28

题目呢?

james.shanghai 发表于 26-11-2013 14:59:17

我是来学习的

james.shanghai 发表于 26-11-2013 15:00:58

私下以为这个文章如果没跑题的话,应该在6.5以上吧

will.xuhui 发表于 26-11-2013 17:26:51

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

忘记贴题目了啊~~

homeboxoffice 发表于 26-11-2013 22:57:33

james.shanghai 发表于 26-11-2013 15:00 static/image/common/back.gif
私下以为这个文章如果没跑题的话,应该在6.5以上吧

这个作文得不到6.5的,6.0就是大运。除开lz的朋友排版,以及句号后面不大写的问题之类,还有其他一些大问题。

简单说说。
首先,最大的问题:第二段,第三段和第四段的第一句和后面引用的内容不直接相关。看step by step或者simon的网站很好解决。
然后,用逗号连接多个完整句子,中间不用连词的问题也不少。
最后一些基本的问题,比如but there are also private schools and clubs provide this trainning (拼写) for young children,和 they do not identify it is mother tongue or foreign language语法不过关;it helps to pronouce (拼写和用法错误) in any language。once they remember it (it is what?)
it's obvious useful,语法问题;so many good aspects listed above,语法问题;knowledges不可数,math好像不用大写,不太确定这个;有些地方前面忘记了冠词,比如 foreign language和right way;结尾不应该用English,应该是 foreign language。

james.shanghai 发表于 26-11-2013 23:52:51

homeboxoffice 发表于 26-11-2013 22:57 static/image/common/back.gif
这个作文得不到6.5的,6.0就是大运。除开lz的朋友排版,以及句号后面不大写的问题之类,还有其他一些大问 ...

能提供下网址吗?谢谢

homeboxoffice 发表于 27-11-2013 01:22:55

james.shanghai 发表于 26-11-2013 23:52 static/image/common/back.gif
能提供下网址吗?谢谢

ielts-simon.com

ruofeng111 发表于 27-11-2013 12:21:35

语法方面:错误过多,凡是复杂句,基本都是错误的,不符合7分水平的任何一项。
词汇方面:attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy,也就6分的水平。
总之,可能能拿6分吧。
评论仅供参考。
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