求批雅思作文
剑桥8 G类-1 大作文；目标6分Today, more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is that.
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Due to the development of economy and globalization, people tend to travel more often than ever, and actually they have a lot of fun in travelling and enjoy it every much.
The family finance becomes more wealthy recently, which enables people have more funds to consider a trip. Nowadays, a great number of people will travel once a year in China, while this cannot be imaged few years before. What is more, lower costs of transport contribute the travelling habits. The tickets of trains and planes are going to be cheaper and cheaper, most people can afford that costs. It is good to normal person, especially lower income layer. They can enjoy the journey not far away in China as well. In addition, the concept of happy lifestyle encourage more people go out for a trip to embrace the beautiful nature. So they can go with their families and enjoy the loving relationships as well as indulge in the wonderful scenery.
The traveller also gets more benefits from these attractive outdoor activities, such as enjoying the love with the family and wonderful views mentioned above. Except these, I think the most important thing is travelling offers people an opportunity to look at the outside from another perspective. Just because of it, we can realize how precious our lives are and how magnificent the world is.
In conclusion, in modern society, more and more people enjoy the blossom travelling which makes our lives better and better. 先说一个小、但是却是很要命的地方，except for those在这里用错了，应该用besides，这属于基础语法错误，大忌。
您的文章从结构上应该说是不太正确的，建议您看看群里step by step写作指导，或者小姨子的书。
您的作文需要多下些功夫，如果要稳定在6以上的话。 语法确实掌握不好， 结构我是想尝试脱离下模板，看了没有到这个实力，还是按模板结构比较稳妥。。 写的挺好的，有6分的可能 才245个单词，字数不够，扣分！TR很烂，没有明确回答问题中的“Why is that”，而是拐弯抹角东拉西扯，扣分！结尾段更是没有紧扣题目，也没有提出任何观点，扣分！
综上所述，得分：5 个人意见，仅供参考哈。
第二段总是在写中国的情况，而题目中并未提到具体地方，所以lz最好泛泛的写，不要扯到具体国家，或者是只拿中国的情况举例。
第三段太短，既然二三段分别针对两个分量相当的问题，那么字数也应该相当才好。 建议楼主皈依刘洪波的真经派，听力阅读肯定能有迅速提高 wisezmz 发表于 29-8-2013 13:41 static/image/common/back.gif
建议楼主皈依刘洪波的真经派，听力阅读肯定能有迅速提高
汗，我还是用我的模板去写吧。。。
另外，刘洪波那么厉害？有G类阅读讲解？ 我好像A类阅读比G类阅读高，这次换A类考试了。 第二段enable 该用to do吧
里面提到好几次china，建议不要指明，可以用some counties， such as China，
尽量不要用第一人称
我的看法，我觉得的还不错了，一起加油
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