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本帖最后由 yping88 于 13-7-2013 20:09 编辑
Howdy, guys!
Now I would like to touch base with you guys on the issue some of us might have come across--working place bully.
When I first started my nursing job in another hospital, I was so intimidated and extremely cautious about whatever I was dealing with. So psychologically damaged in Chinese working culture, I got used to being addressed to in a condescending and rude manner by the authorities.
So, whenever being bullied, I still chose to put up with it, instead of standing up to the bullies. Because being tame to authorities is what I have been raised to, I didn't know any different. I never thought "Zero tolerance to bully" actually meant something to me.
At that time, there was this in-charge nurse, who got a very strong personality and poor interpersonal skills.
But I got admit that she was a very passionate nurse, always treated patients with passion and care. So, she was so eager to push new staff to learn in her way, but she went at it in a very confronting and insulting way.
Unfortunately, my orientation (3 months long) was allocated to her. And that turned out to be a tremendously traumatized period I have ever had to go through in Australia system.
In every single shift I did with her, I constantly suffered from her rude push-over, sarcasm, lash-out. Everything had to be done either in her way or no way. Hanging around me all the time, she always had a bone to pick with me on every single patient's care I provided. Sometimes, after she picked on me and left the room, even the patients said "Even I myself am very pleased with your care, what is her rude manner is all about?".
I was so stressed out and vulnerable, and so angry with her that I attacked her on her personal life in private. I said something about her that was so uncalled for, so unjustified: "No wonder her husband couldn't bear with her any longer, her personality totally explained why he cheated on her and eventually run off with someone else".
Not long after my permanent employment was secured because I survived my probation with a ward-wide recognition. I decided to speak up on her bully and put an end to it. One day, after her another public lash-out (发脾气) at me because I failed to do something beyond my training.
Me: Kelly, can I have a word with you when possible?
Kelly: Sure, what is that about? (She seemed to be very naive and innocent).
Me: Do you really want me to talk about it here?
She looked around the nurse station and maybe realized that wouldn't be something pleasant other staff should witness. She showed me to manager's office. I guessed we both were very much in the same page what that conversation would touch on.
Me: Kelly, what you just did in front of everybody was rude and hurtful. It destroyed my self-esteem and undermined my performance. That task wasn't meant to be on my shoulders and I wasn't trained to do ward clerk's job either.
Kelly: Ok, if I hurt you in any way, I apologize for that, but I just thought that was something easily fixable and you don't need any training for that.
Me: Kelly, I have been busy as it is, are you asking me to put my task on hold to do something I don't know how? Then, afterwards, you come to my assignment and pick on whatever you want to?
Kelly: Hey, where are these all coming from?
Me: You know exactly what I am talking about, Kelly. And I'm not talking about only today, so you know, from now on, if you find something I did wrong, please take it up to the manager. I just don't want to put up with your manners anymore.
Kelly: No, I am nurse-in-charge, I'll have to talk to you.
Me: In that case, you will have to take on different approach, otherwise, I wouldn't want to talk to you in any way.
Kelly: Ok, I will work on that. By the way, when I talked to you like that, I didn't mean to hurt you, it's just the way I talk. If you are hurt, I apologize.
Me: Ok, let me make it very clear, the way you talked to me was not acceptable for me. Please take on different approach and mind your manners (God forgive me, that was the only one time in which I had to take on such a rude and strong stand against anyone).
Kelly: Sure, again I am sorry for what happened.
From then on, she just became a totally other person.
So, she could address to me differently, it's not as she claimed "How she talks", only that I needed to bring it up. A year ago, I moved to another hospital for better opportunity. It was nothing to do with her at all. but thanks to her, I came out as this stronger lady today, which brings my career to a different level.
As a song just puts: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Lol
Howdy 你好
Touch base with somebody 建立联系
Deal with 面对的事务
Be damaged psychologically 从心理上受到创伤
Address to someone对人讲话
Condescending 居高临下地
Put up with it 忍受, 承受
Stand up to 勇敢地面对
Be tame to 对某人驯服
What I raised to be 我被抚养成这个样子
Didn't know any different 对不同的方式一无所知
Zero tolerance to bully 对欺负绝不忍耐
Strong personality 争强好胜, 难以相处
Confronting and insulting 让人难以接受并带有侮辱人的色彩
Tremendously traumatized 难以想象程度上的创伤
Push over 对人颐指气使
Either in her way or no way 凡事只能顺着她做, 否则就不对
Have a bone to pick up with somebody 吹毛求疵, 挑剔
Be uncalled for/unjustified 不该说的话或不该做的事情, 没有理由的 Be called for 罪有应得, 就该承受别人的奚落
Cheat on someone with someone else 跟别人相好,背叛妻子/情人
Run off with someone 跟人私奔了
Put an end to something 结束某事
Have a word with somebody 跟某人谈谈 (比较严肃)
Be very much in the same page 俩个人/多个人想法都一样
Undermine somebody's performance 低估某人的工作表现
Put on somebody's shoulders 让某人负责某事
Put something on hold 把某事先放下/ I will put you on hold 接电话时,意为你先等一下
Where is something coming from / I know where you come from 为什么说这事/我知道你为什么说这些或做这些
From now on/ From now onwards 从现在开始
Take on different approach 采取不同的方式
Make it clear/Make myself clear 说得很清楚, 表明立场
Mind your manners 注意你的礼貌, 态度
Come out stronger 从...逃出来, 变得更坚强
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 大难过后, 你变得更坚强 |
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