原帖由 tjusnow 于 9/2/2012 13:16 发表
It is widely accepted that the nurture of a child has important influence on his or her development in both intelligence and personality. Parents, the closest friends of children, play an essential role in parenting, and because of this, achieving good childcare skills is indeed very important for these parents. However, when it comes to the issue whether parents should take childcare training courses in schools, people still hold opposing opinions.
academic写作大概分几个档次：
1松散的。句子和句子之间没啥关系。
2有点逻辑的。句子和句子之间硬靠关联词弄一起的。
3比较逻辑的。句子和句子之间能巧妙清晰的用关联词连接。
4非常有逻辑。句子和句子之间靠内容联系，有关联词，但是不多。
楼主大概处于2阶段。
给楼主一个简单也比较容易achieve的建议吧，很多中国人写English essay都不会注意到的一个问题：
保持主语一致性。
比如你的句子：每个句子的主语都很多，第一句是it（其实是一个fact，去掉it is widely accepted，你的句子的主语是：the nurture of a child）。第二句是：parents，改了。思维从the nurture of a child跳到parents。and严格的说等于是个废话，第三句主语：achieving good childcare skills。第四句主语：people
也就是说，四个句子，其实讲的是四个方面。你because，however用的再多，也只是一只破碎的碗勉强用强力胶沾起来的，而且碗的碎片还不是同一只碗上的。
中文不是一种很注重主语的语言，口语中甚至有大量的主语省略现象——而英语恰好相反。
to keep the same topic, better use the same "topic".这是个很简单的保持inner logic的方法。写完你自己念一遍，也会觉得舒服很多。
在你的基础上改一下：
It is widely accepted that parents play an essential role in the children's development of intelligence and personality when they are still in infancy. However, when it comes to the issue whether parents should be professionally trained to help better shape up their children's future, people hold different opinions. In my point of view, XXXX
 收工，睡觉。 |
发表于 8-2-2012 20:31:18
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楼主
） 写的练习文章，感觉比较实惠，能用得上。
