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说一下LZ第二篇文章，互相学习。
It is not uncommonly that some of students severely violate discipline in some countries, even the incidence of juvenile delinquency is increasingly high. In my opinion, some factors probably could cause this phenomenon.
Currently, increasing publication and movies are inundated with violent and pornographic contents, which could lead students to simulate what they have watched. Underage students have not enough ability to control themselves or to know whether it is right or not. Likewise, the domestic violence is the same dangerous "teaching material" to afflict children with frustration, misery and loneliness. As a result of it, children would treats other peers like what they has been seen, even if not so, they would be accompanied by the burden of gloomy childhood memories in their lives.
Therefore, in my view, we could take steps to reduce these phenomenon to the limit. For the sake of that we necessitate the force not only government but parents to make a concerted effort to improve the current circumstance of children's growth. The authorities could make some strictly legislation against gratuitous violent and pornographic contents to minor, as well as the laws against domestic violence. In terms of household, parents should take more time off for their children and guide rather than punish them when they committed a mischief.
In conclusion, youngster are, by nature, undeveloped、innocent and pure, sometimes they are just the passive receptacles of predigested ideas. It is guidance and care that can lead them to the correct ways. We should give priority to improve the phenomenon because they are our children at present and they are our future as well.
LZ用了不少的大词，但是感觉把握得不是太精确。另外有些明显语法错误，这个我也一样，写的时候有时间的限制就出各种小问题。
还有我觉得对于phenomenon可以用reduce 和improve么？
还有论证显得单薄，分析原因的部分只说了一个原因，这个LZ可以尝试用中文写一篇试试，看到底是表达的问题还是逻辑的问题
[ 本帖最后由 hjx500 于 30-11-2010 16:07 编辑 ] | 
发表于 28-11-2010 00:52:54
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