苏老夫子的《望江南》，翻译还OK吗？

fredliu

闲暇一刻，试译了苏老夫子的《望江南》，观感如何？请提宝贵意见！

《望江南·超然台作》
（宋：苏轼）
Translated by Dejiang Fred Liu

Spring in prime, breeze light, willows leaning. Looking afar, trench half filled, city fully blooming. Drizzles dimming all houses.
After Hanshi, waking from drinking, not to mention homeland, but brew new tea for you. Wine and poetry suit each minute.

春未老，风细柳斜斜。试上超然台上看，半壕春水一城花。烟雨暗千家。
寒食后，酒醒却咨嗟。休对故人思故国，且将新火试新茶。诗酒趁年华。