您要学雅思作文吗？

fredliu

本人长期为广州多家一线雅思、托福培训中心做写作教师，擅长雅思和新托福写作。如果论坛上有TX需要批改雅思/新托福作文，了解当前雅思/新托福考试动态，或者在广州的TX需要VIP面授课程，我会尽力帮你克服考试难关！

短消息 或 QQ:55669717

另外，本人目前也在办理澳洲移民，并希望达悉尼后能继续从事雅思培训工作

[ 本帖最后由 fredliu 于 14-9-2008 03:17 编辑 ]

lavahx

收费不？？

woody81

请楼主转发AD版面，1小时后删帖。

fredliu

每天可以免费改一篇，供大家参考。有兴趣的TX可以在回复贴上提交作文。到底能不能学到东西，试一试就知道

woody81

当我进SAM家的时候，他正坐在地上玩他前面的一堆玩具。“SAM，你好！”我说“你好VIVIAN”他双手还玩着一辆玩具车抬头说。　我在他的身边坐下来，问他：“你在玩什么”他右手举起他的车说“这是我的车”它会跳舞。然后他双手把车翻过来，用右手按了一个小开关，再把它放在了地板上，小车开的很快，还会转弯，SAM骄傲的说，看到了吧，它跳舞的。SAM用右手抓了抓头，然后爬过去又把小车用右手抓了回来。然后递给我说“你会玩吗？”我说我可以试试，他凑过来替我把开关打开，然后认真的说，是这样的。然后他退回去用手指着地板说，把它放下去。我放下去，车开走了，他开心的笑，双手支起身子去追车了。

When I SAM into the home, he is sitting on the ground in front of him on a pile of toys. "SAM, hello!" I said, "Hello VIVIAN" he hands a toy car Wan Zhao also said the rise. I sit down to his side, asked him: "What you are playing," he raised his right hand to say "This is my car," it will dance. Then he hands the car turned over, andThe right hand by a small switch, then it on the floor, opened the car quickly, but also turn, SAM proud of that and see it, it's dance. SAM Zhua Liaozhua head with his right hand, and then climb again over the past car with his right hand grasping the back. And then handed it to me that "you will play?» "I said I can try, I Couguo functions of the switch to open, and then seriously, is this. He then returned to the floor with their hands pointed at that, to put it aside. I lay down to, the car gone, his happy smile, hands-Quzhui from the body of the car.

fredliu

woody, what do you want me to do? I am so confused with "pls show your literary talent" . there are so many errors in it, u want me to correct them?

[ 本帖最后由 fredliu 于 14-9-2008 17:23 编辑 ]

woody81

just kidding！what about this part？

SAM used right hand to give a scrach on his head. Then he got over to carrid the toy by his right hand."Would you play?"he passed the toy.I said I would like to try.He closed to me ang switched it on."Like that!"He speaking seriously.Then he moved back and pointed to the floor,said"put it down".I put the car down then it was running,He smiled and looked happy,standing up to catch the car。

fredliu

woody, I suggest you post an IELTS essay as a trial, thank you.

Sam scrathed his head with his right hand. Then he got over to carry a toy car  in his right hand. "Would you play?" He passed the toy to me. I said I would like to try. He approached me and switched it on. "Like that!" He spoke seriously. Then he moved back and pointed to the floor, saying "Put it down." I put down the car , then it began to run. He smiled and stood up to catch it.

[ 本帖最后由 fredliu 于 14-9-2008 18:08 编辑 ]

woody81

I saw you did it  well! Thanks for sharing

fredliu

Thank you too! I just hope I can find some part time job here to help those being tortured by IELTS!

bigrixin

您好，老师，

http://www.freeoz.org/forum/thread-795651-1-1.html

这里写作必备35句，感觉挺好，有很多句型可以用，但是记忆比较困难，能否根据这35句的句型，总结一篇或两篇短文，这样有助于记忆。。。

我只是将内容相同的罗列到一起，但是还不是一篇完整的文章，若可能的话，请帮忙，我想即使作为您的教案也是可以的。 谢谢

顺祝老师早日移民成功 ！！


-----------------------
写作必备35句 Plus

Nothing is more important than to receive education.                没有比接受教育更重要的事。

There is no one but longs to go to college.                                没有人不渴望上大学。

It is conceivable that knowledge plays an important role in our life. 可想而知，知识在我们的一生中扮演一个重要的角色。

On no account can we ignore the value of knowledge.                我们绝对不能忽略知识的价值。

So precious is time that we can't afford to waste it.                时间是如此珍贵，我们经不起浪费它。

The harder you work, the more progress you make.                你愈努力，你愈进步。

The more books we read, the more learned we become.        我们书读愈多，我们愈有学问。

We should bring home to people the value of working hard.                我们应该让人们明白努力的价值。

Helen is the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen.     海伦是我所看过最美丽的女孩。

Since she went to senior high school, she has worked very hard.   自从她上高中，她一直很用功。

Reading does good to our mind.                                                读书对心灵有益。   

Overwork does harm to health.                                                工作过度对健康有害。

We should get into the habit of keeping good hours.                我们应该养成早睡早起的习惯。

We cannot emphasize the importance of protecting our eyes too much.  我们再怎么强调保护眼睛的重要性也不为过。

Listening to music enable us to feel relaxed.                                听音乐使我们能够感觉轻松。

By taking exercise, we can always stay healthy.                        借着做运动，我们能够始终保持健康。

Taking exercise is closely related to health.                                做运动与健康息息相关。

For the past two years, I have been busy preparing for the examination.  过去两年来，我一直忙着准备考试。

Since the examination is around the corner, I am compelled to give up doing sports.
既然考试迫在眉睫，我不得不放弃做运动。

Summer is sultry. That is the reason why I don't like it.                夏天很燠热。那就是我不喜欢它的原因。

Mr. Chang is the kindest teacher that I have ever had.                张老师是我曾经遇到最仁慈的教师。

Thanks to his encouragement, I finally realized my dream.        因为他的鼓励，我终于实现我的梦想。

It pays to help others.   帮助别人是值得的。

What an important thing it is to keep our promise!       How important a thing it is to keep our promise!
遵守诺言是多么重要的事！

There is no doubt that our educational system leaves something to be desired.  毫无疑问的我们的教育制度令人不满意。


The condition of our traffic leaves much to be desired.                        我们的交通状况令人不满意。

It is time the authorities concerned took proper steps to solve the traffic problems.
该是有关当局采取适当的措施来解决交通问题的时候了。

Those who violate traffic regulations should be punished.                违反交通规定的人应该受处罚。

Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by no means satisfactory.  
虽然我们的国家富有，我们的生活品质绝对令人不满意。

There is no denying that the qualities of our living have gone from bad to worse.
不可否认的，我们的生活品质已经每况愈下。

It is universally acknowledged that trees are indispensable to us.  全世界都知道树木对我们是不可或缺的。

The reason why we have to grow trees is that they can provide us with fresh air./ The reason why we have to grow trees is that they can supply fresh air for us.                            我们必须种树的原因是它们能供应我们新鲜的空气。

Pollution poses a great threat to our existence.   污染对我们的生存造成一大威胁。

Smoking has a great influence on our health.           抽烟对我们的健康有很大的影响。

We should spare no effort to beautify our environment.   我们应该不遗余力的美化我们的环境。

An advantage of using the solar energy is that it won't create (produce) any pollution.
使用太阳能的优点是它不会制造任何污染。


The progress of thee society is based on harmony.   社会的进步是以和谐为基础的。

We should do our utmost to achieve our goal in life.   我们应尽全力去达成我们的人生目标。

[ 本帖最后由 bigrixin 于 15-9-2008 17:45 编辑 ]

fredliu

这些句子作为句型拓展来说还是很不错的 ，谢谢bigrixin

fredliu

打算免费帮TX们修改一些作文，一周两到三篇，请大家积极发贴.

xiaofangfang

今天刚刚参加了第二次烤鸭，看来又要考一次了，其他都过6了，就是写作没达到；写作文一直是我心中的痛啊，不管是中文还是英文；

fredliu

那就把你上次考试时写的大作在这里发表一下吧，我看看能帮你什么

8戒

偶没接受过高等教育，没上过雅思，以前没写过英文短文，现在在澳洲老师几乎每周都让写这些东西，可是拿回来一看，老师改的地方实在是多啊，而且发现自己的思维方式还是有别与他们。不知道老师有什么好的建议能够提高一下写作的么？

fredliu

没看到你的作文，怎么建议呀？

8戒

嗯，写作入门方法有不？哎，只怕写出来的东西被大家笑掉大牙啊

fredliu

there is nothing called writing techniques without writing practice. so don't be afraid, just do it. and believe me, nobody is meant to laugh at anyone else.

woody81

somebody write something!

8戒

this is my today's homework,writing

登录/注册后可看大图

fredliu

justin, is that your homework? Your "New-Concept-English" style humor is very impressive!

fredliu

Come on, if no one actually needs any hlep, I will ask the web-master to dump the post

fredliu

Here is the task 2 question for September 6th, can anyone try it?

Once children start school, the teachers have more influence in their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

8戒

i am do my homework now, and i dont' know it's come from NCE.

[ 本帖最后由 justin9302 于 22-9-2008 22:28 编辑 ]

lavahx

俺练习时写的，用了模板

Giving detailed descriptions of crime by newspaper and television, someone says it could make bad consequence; this kind of media should be restricted. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age, the print media, newspaper and magazines, and the electronic media, television or radio, are awash in particular news coverage of criminal acts in our daily life. But in the meantime, controversy has arisen over whether the detailed information about crime should be in public. Some individuals declare that those descriptions will help us know criminal acts well while many others cast serious doubts on the proponents' option and refute that it will lead bad consequence. Speaking for myself, I tend to take sides with the latter view.

Obviously, detailed reports of crimes may carry great risks. In the first place, those who have criminal tendency will easily learn from criminal processes, plans and tools and as detailed reports to avoid capturing by polices. For instance, a TV program shows news about polices arrested two thieves when they tried to steal goods and money in a supermarket. The coverage describes a lot of details about time schedule of the supermarket and the location of the monitors and the process indicated polices how to capture thieves. Therefore, offenders easily commit a crime through watching them as a reference. Furthermore, to victims detailed descriptions of criminal acts are inhumane and harm them again. Therefore, for protecting victims who have suffered greatly from these crimes, banning detailed reports of criminal acts in all kinds of media is necessary.

On the other hand, crime reports may bring some benefits. To start with, a notice from media about criminal acts is an alarm to people in the city and keeps them pay attention to their belongings and safe. A good case in point is people will buy some facilities like electric alarms and video monitors for enhancing house security after watching local news about stealing and avoid going to some places where often someone was robbed reported by newspaper. Even so, detailed report of crimes makes the above methods useless. Therefore, the press should avoid publishing too many detailed descriptions of criminal acts.

Based on all the arguments offered above, I would contend that the media should inform the public about criminal acts.  Despite that, the drawbacks created by detailed reports of crimes far outweigh the advantages. As a consequence, I am convinced that to avoid detailed descriptions of crimes is a duty of the media.
(384)

8戒

The birthday present

Rita's mother's birthday would come soon. She want give a big surprise to her mother.So she decided to buy a special gift for her mother. She goes to a pets shop and find a bird, it not only can say different languages but also singing songs. It was so expersive, but she still brought it and delivered it to her mother.

When on her mother's birthday, she rang her mother, asked her mother "Happy birthday, Do you like my present?" Her mother said"Thank you darling, it's very delicious" Rita was so sad, but she told her mother, "I feel so glad, you like it!"

ritaclin

The birthday present

Rita's mother's birthday is coming. She wants to give her mother a big surprise, so she decides to buy a special gift for her. She goes to a pet shop and finds a bird, which can not only speak different languages but also sing songs. It is quite expersive, but she still buys it and delivers it to her mother.

On her mother's birthday, Rita rings her mother and says "Happy birthday, Do you like my present?" Her mother says "Thank you darling, it's very delicious" Rita is sad, but she tells her mother, "I feel so glad that you like it!"

8戒

ah, THANKS for you stroy, I am feel so sad for you pet.

8戒

YOU will be~!